Magazine

Sleep-deprived dad holding a baby in an oversized wrap bodysuit

System Failure at 3 AM: HM Baby Clothes and Newborn Survival

The poop had somehow achieved terminal velocity. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my two-week-old daughter was lying on her changing pad, screaming with the piercing intensity of a malfunctioning smoke detector. The payload had defied all known...

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Confused dad looking at a smartphone while a toddler chews on a wooden panda toy

The 3 AM Search for Goo Goo Babies Uma Musume and Real Life

The iPad was glowing with an accusatory harshness against the peeling wallpaper of our London flat, illuminating a very specific kind of 3 AM domestic hell. Lily, the slightly more volatile of my two-year-old twin girls, had just violently expelled...

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Exhausted dad in a dark nursery holding a crying baby

The 3 AM Baby Handoff Protocol: Surviving The Night Shift As A Dad

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding my son like he was a live grenade with a faulty pin. He had been screaming for forty-five straight minutes. I had run through the standard troubleshooting checklist: diaper...

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A wooden play gym set up in a living room while a dog watches

The Great Fur Babies Delusion: Why Your Terrier Is Not Practice

I was sitting on the hallway floor at 3:14 in the morning, holding a plastic bag of frozen peas to my forehead while watching our Jack Russell terrier methodically lick the remnants of a violently rejected rice cake off the...

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Mom sitting on living room floor looking tired while toddler walks away

Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby Lyrics & Toddler Drama

The absolute biggest lie the parenting industry ever managed to sell us is that your Spotify Wrapped needs to look like an eighteenth-century Austrian composer's fever dream for your kid to get into a good kindergarten. I was standing in...

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A confused dad looking at a bottle of plant-based baby oil next to a baby bath

Troubleshooting Dry Skin: What Is Baby Oil Actually Used For

It was exactly 68 degrees in the postpartum recovery room. I know this because the wall thermostat was the only illuminated object I had stared at for the previous four hours while my wife finally slept. I was holding a...

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Priya in her kitchen mixing a half formula half cow milk bottle

When do babies stop drinking formula: my messy transition

I was standing over my kitchen sink at 11:45 PM, aggressively scrubbing the tiny, useless plastic vents of a baby bottle for what felt like the millionth time. Chicago winters already destroy your skin, but adding hot water and dish...

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