Magazine
Why Every Baby Stock Image Is Lying to You About Safe Sleep
I was sitting on the floor of Leo's nurseryβwhich, by the way, was painted this color called "Sea Salt" that ultimately just looked like a bruised vein in the wrong lightβsweating entirely through my third nursing bra of the day....
Why Your Baby Keeps Deploying Their Tongue Like A Tiny Lizard
To: Marcus (from exactly 164 days ago) From: Marcus (current day, currently covered in mysterious sticky residue) Subject: URGENT: The tongue thing is not a hardware failure It's 2:14 AM in your timeline right now. The nursery temperature is exactly...
Forget The Screens: Building A Real Baby Steps Game Map At Home
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting in the dark nursing my youngest while the glow of my phone screen burned my retinas. My middle child, Leo, was fourteen months old at the time and barely...
Baby Sprinkle Invitations: Navigating Version 2.0
My mom texted me at 7:00 AM on a Tuesday to declare that asking for gifts for a second baby is "fundamentally tacky." Three hours later, my coworker Dave slapped my desk and announced I needed to bully our mutual...
Why buying a baby snow suit is harder than hospital triage
My mother told me to wrap my son in three heavy wool blankets before taking him to the grocery store or he'd catch a chill and end up in the ICU, beta. My neighbor with the pristine neutral aesthetic told...
The Day My Toddler Tried to Befriend a Venomous Garden Reptile
My left boot was entirely submerged in a rather grim Devonshire puddle when I realised the funny green stick Florence was aggressively waving at her sister possessed eyes. It's a very specific type of adrenaline that hits you when you're...
The Barefoot Myth and Why You Actually Need Baby Slippers
It was 2018, and I was standing in a ridiculously overpriced baby boutique in downtown Seattle wearing leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine in at least a week. I was holding my lukewarm vanilla latte in...
Surviving the Baby Sling Carrier When You Have Zero Coordination
I was standing in the kitchen at two in the afternoon, wearing yesterday's t-shirt and draped in five meters of stretchy jersey fabric, looking less like a modern father and more like a deeply depressed Roman senator. Twin A was...
Why The Netflix Baby-Sitters Club Cast Changed My Parenting
It was exactly 7:43 PM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a fleece robe that smelled vaguely of sour milk and desperation, and my seven-year-old, Maya, was asking me why the girl on the TV was talking on a phone...