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Exhausted dad holding twin baby girls while looking at a name list

The Great 3AM Hunt for Baby Girl Names Starting With V

The glow of the laptop screen at three in the morning is a uniquely hostile type of light, especially when it’s illuminating a spreadsheet containing seventy-four potential names for a human being you haven't even met yet. Outside our London...

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baby clothesbaby showerhumourparenthoodpregnancy tips
A dad holding up a tiny baby shower outfit looking entirely confused.

What to wear to a baby shower when nothing fits (a survival guide)

Sarah was wedged inside a floral maternity dress that had, seemingly overnight, transformed from breezy summer elegance into a highly restrictive sausage casing. It was mid-July, she was thirty-two weeks pregnant with the twins, and our own baby shower was...

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A bewildered dad holding a baby ultrasound photo while surrounded by neutral swaddles

When Can You Find Out Gender Of Baby? A Twin Dad's Honest Guide

I was standing in our galley kitchen on a miserable Tuesday afternoon, holding a plastic cup of my wife’s morning urine in one hand and a slightly expired box of baking soda in the other. The internetβ€”that infinite void of...

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Exhausted dad staring at a newspaper comic while holding two crying twins

Reading a Baby Blues Comic Today Won't Save You From the Crash

It's 3:14 am. I'm standing in our freezing London kitchen, crying silently over a piece of cold toast. Not because the toast is particularly tragic, but because the kettle made a slightly aggressive hissing sound and the sheer audacity of...

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A tired dad holding a silicone cow teether in a London flat

How I Survived the Great Highland Cow Baby Obsession of 2024

I'm currently sitting in the corner of a semi-detached flat in Zone 3 London, making intense eye contact with a six-foot plush Scottish bovine. It has more hair than I do, takes up roughly the same square footage as a...

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6-month-oldhumourorganicparenthoodsafety tipsteething
Dad covered in purple alginate powder holding a squirming twin

Why a baby cast and an indie film is a terrible Friday night

It's 8:14 PM on a Friday, and my left hand is currently bonded to a Tupperware container of rapidly hardening purple alginate, while Rachel Sennott has a full-blown panic attack on my television screen. My wife is desperately trying to...

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Twin girls covered in sweet potato puree sitting in highchairs at the kitchen table

When Do Babies Start Eating Baby Food? A Twin Dad's Messy Guide

Dear Tom of eighteen months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3am, staring at a very expensive, totally unused baby food maker, frantically typing misspelled queries like "when do I feed my babi" into your phone with one...

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6-month-oldbaby developmenthumourParenting GuideUK
A bewildered dad checking his crawling baby's knees on a hard kitchen floor to see if babies actually have kneecaps.

Do Babies Have Kneecaps? Surviving the Kitchen Tile Crawling Era

The sound of a two-foot-tall human slamming knee-first into Victorian ceramic tile is a noise that bypasses the eardrum and registers directly in the parent's soul. It's a wet, hollow thud that makes you instantly calculate the distance to the...

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A dad holding a baby shower card looking deeply confused in a nursery

How to Write a Baby Shower Card Without Sounding Delusional

I'm standing in the card aisle of the local Tesco, holding a pastel-yellow envelope and aggressively crossing out a pre-printed poem about 'tiny toes and heavenly woes' with a biro. The cashier is staring at me. I don't care. I'm...

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