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The Great Padded Donut Deception: A Father's Baby Nest Confession
I was standing in the middle of our cramped London flat at 3:17 a.m., holding what looked like an oversized, over-engineered dog bed, desperately trying to remember which twin I had just fed. Maya was wailing from the Moses basket,...
Surviving the Chaos of Smoking Baby Back Ribs With Toddlers
It was 4:13 PM on the Thursday before Memorial Day, and I was wearing my absolute favorite, completely impractical white linen top from Zara. I don't know why I wore white. It was an act of extreme hubris. My husband,...
When Can You Tell the Gender of a Baby? A Dad's Data Timeline
I was sitting in my ergonomic office chair, hitting CMD+R on my Gmail inbox every forty seconds like I was waiting for a server deployment to finish. We were at week ten of the pregnancy. Somewhere in the cloud, a...
What I Wish I Knew Before Googling Dwarf Baby Tears
Dear Sarah of November 14th, currently sitting on the cold bathroom tile at 3:17 AM in yesterday's yogurt-stained Lululemon leggings. You have your phone in one hand and a screaming four-month-old Leo in the other, and you're desperately typing things...
Spare Ribs vs Baby Back Ribs: A Dadβs Guide to Debugging Toddler BBQ
I was standing at the meat counter of our neighborhood New Seasons in Portland, panic-googling whether "baby back" meant the ribs actually came from a baby pig. My wife Sarah was three aisles over dealing with a minor avocado-related meltdown...
Dear Past Me: The Messy Truth About Having a Lip Tie Baby
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the undersized, aggressively cheerful yellow chair in Dr. Vanceβs pediatric dental waiting room. Itβs a Tuesday. You're wearing those black leggings that have a hole near the left knee,...
Debugging Mealtime: The Hunt for Non Toxic Baby Plates
I was standing in our kitchen at 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, holding a steaming "eco-friendly" bamboo baby plate that suddenly smelled exactly like the motherboard I accidentally fried during a college hackathon. My 11-month-old son, Leo, was banging his...
The Truth About Character Stuffed Animals And Nursery Aesthetics
My heel just found the exact center of a plastic cartoon pup's hard little nose at six in the morning, and as I hopped around the dark living room stifling a scream so I wouldn't wake the baby, I realized...
Where to Sell Baby Clothes When The Piles Literally Take Over
"You need to put everything on Poshmark," my neighbor Jessica told me on Tuesday morning while we were standing outside the preschool gates. "No, God, ThredUp is the only way, who has time to ship?" my sister texted me literally...