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Writing Baby Shower Thank You Cards Without Losing Your Mind
I was exactly thirty-six weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting dead center on the faux-wood floor of our tiny rental duplex, surrounded by seventy-five pastel blue envelopes. I was absolutely sobbing. My lower back felt like it was splitting in...
The Honest Truth About Baby Shower Invites (And Surviving Them)
I was sitting at my kitchen island in July of 2017, my ankles swollen to the exact size and texture of grapefruits, wearing a maternity tank top that had a crusty mustard stain on the hem, crying over cardstock. Literally...
How to Write a Baby Shower Card Without Sounding Delusional
I'm standing in the card aisle of the local Tesco, holding a pastel-yellow envelope and aggressively crossing out a pre-printed poem about 'tiny toes and heavenly woes' with a biro. The cashier is staring at me. I don't care. I'm...
Writing baby shower wishes that will not make parents roll their eyes
I'm sitting cross-legged on my faded Chicago apartment rug right now. My toddler is methodically dismantling a cardboard box in the corner, looking for a stale Cheerio I know he dropped three days ago. I'm holding a stack of heavy...
What to write in a baby shower card without losing your mind
I'm sitting in the passenger seat of our sedan, balancing a small square envelope on the dashboard while my husband dodges Chicago potholes. We're twenty minutes late to my cousin's baby shower. The pen I dug out of the glovebox...
The Real Truth About People Actually Finding Your Baby Registry
I was sitting in a literal pile of bright pink cardboard boxes on my living room floor, four days after my first baby shower, ugly-crying into a burp cloth because not a single person bought the organic crib sheets I...
Writing a Baby Shower Card When You Have No Idea What to Say
I was standing in the greeting card aisle at the local Portland Fred Meyer, holding a pastel yellow card featuring a deeply anatomically incorrect stork, completely paralyzed. I had solicited advice from three different people on what to write in...
What To Do With A Crochet Blanket For Newborn Babies, Y'all
I was exactly thirty-four weeks pregnant with my oldest, Tucker, sweating right through a floral maternity dress that felt more like a circus tent, when my Great Aunt Ruth handed me a massive, heavy, neon-yellow yarn afghan. Right on cue,...
The reality of personalized blankets with names for your baby
I was standing over a donation bin at three in the afternoon, aggressively stuffing a neon pink minky fleece throw into a plastic bag. It was a gift from a distant relative, given to me three months before my daughter...