The brutally honest guide to choosing baby names boy edition
There's a pervasive, highly destructive lie floating around the maternity wards and NCT classes of Britain, and it goes something like this: don't worry if you haven't picked a name yet, because the second they hand him to you, you'll...
How Peppa Pig's New Arrival Fixed Our Sibling Transition Chaos
I was sitting cross-legged on a spectacularly stained rug, holding up a somewhat mangled stuffed rabbit and speaking in a high-pitched voice, trying to explain the concept of human gestation to my two-year-old twin daughters. They stared at me with...
The Truth About Unique Baby Gifts From A Mom Who Kept The Receipts
I'm currently standing in my garage sweating through my favorite oversized t-shirt, aggressively trying to shove a five-foot-tall plush giraffe into a cardboard donation box while my toddler throws stale Cheerios at the dog. My oldest, bless her heart, was...
A Portland Dad's Honest Guide to Picking Gifts for Infants
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday when our system completely crashed. My son had just executed a flawless, database-corrupting diaper blowout, and my wife and I were running on maybe ninety total minutes of fragmented sleep. The nursery thermostat...
What Parents Actually Want When You Buy Baby Gifts for Girls
My sister-in-law cornered me by the kettle just before the twins arrived, waving a mug of herbal tea, and firmly stated that I must only buy neutral organic linen so my girls wouldn't be forced into oppressive gender roles before...
Why The Best Baby Gifts For Boys Donβt Have Batteries Or Sirens
I'm currently sitting on my living room rug, surrounded by what I can only describe as a localized explosion of primary-colored plastic, wondering who decided that every single present for a male infant needs to simulate a construction site emergency....
Dear Past Tom: The Great Beanie Baby Birthday Calendar Incident
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently hunched over the kitchen island, illuminated only by the harsh, judgemental glow of your phone and the standby light on the Tommee Tippee prep machine. One of the twins is asleep, radiating...
How to choose a baby gift without getting blocked on WhatsApp
I'm currently standing in my narrow London hallway holding a four-foot-tall plush giraffe that aggressively blares a tinny version of 'It's a Small World' whenever you look at it funny. It's Tuesday morning, my two-year-old twin girls are currently screaming...
Surviving the Trend: Keeping a Glassy Baby Safe Around Real Twins
My mother-in-law told me it was a deeply spiritual heirloom that would absorb the chaotic energy of our household. My sister whispered it was the ultimate high-status nursery accessory that proved we were officially grown-ups. My mate Dave simply texted...