Why Treating My Infant Like A Little Primate Saved My Sanity
It was 3:17 AM. I was wearing a nursing tank top that smelled so aggressively of sour milk and desperation that Iβm pretty sure our dog was actively avoiding eye contact with me, and I was standing frozen over the...
The Truth About the SSA Baby Name Database (And My Biggest Regret)
I was 38 weeks pregnant, wedged into a kitchen chair that suddenly felt way too small, staring at a glowing spreadsheet of baby names at 11 PM. My husband was standing by the open fridge eating cold deli turkey straight...
The truth about claiming the Target baby registry welcome kit
My mother-in-law told me I had to physically march up to the customer service desk, show them my pregnancy app, and politely demand my gift bag. My best friend swore the whole thing was an internet myth because her local...
Raising a Lil Baby Son: Hip-Hop Myths and the Messy Reality
My mate Dave invited me over last Tuesday to meet his newborn, and within four minutes of crossing the threshold, he proudly showed me the tiny, immaculate pair of Air Jordans heβd bought for his three-week-old child. The cultural expectation...
Taking Parenting Advice From A Kardashian (And Why It Actually Worked)
It was exactly 3:14 AM, the digital clock on the humidifier was burning red into my retinas, and I was sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor holding a pair of heavy-duty kitchen shears. The baby was doing that terrifying, silent...
The trey coolin baby boo trend: digital safety for your infant
The blue light from my phone was throwing weird, sharp shadows against the nursery wall. It was 3 AM. My son was finally asleep on my chest after a four-hour teething marathon that left us both smelling like sour milk...
A Letter to My Past Self: How to Watch Baby Boy Chaos Unfold
You're currently sitting on the beige rug in the nursery, holding a half-melted bag of frozen Trader Joe's peas to your left eyebrow. Your five-month-old just executed what I can only describe as a tactical headbutt masquerading as a hug....
Why My Kid Packed A Box After Watching we baby bears
I was standing in the kitchen folding my seventh load of laundry on a Tuesday afternoon when I heard the unmistakable, aggressive sound of packing tape ripping off the roll. I dropped a pile of mismatched socks, walked into the...
Why the Weighted Sleep Sack Trend Terrified Me Out of My Wits
Itβs 3:17 am, the exact hour when your brain stops processing logic and starts throwing your debit card at whichever Instagram ad promises the most impossible lie. Twin B had been doing this awful, rhythmic screeching thing for three solid...