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Tired mom staring at an expensive plush baby cushion on the living room floor surrounded by unfolded laundry.

The Messy, Scary Truth About Your Favorite Baby Lounger Pillow

I was sitting cross-legged on my living room rug at three in the morning, aggressively taping up a stack of cardboard boxes for my Etsy shop, when I finally felt my shoulders drop. My oldest son, who was exactly twenty-two...

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A deeply exhausted dad holding two babies while watching a movie in the dark.

Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...

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Confused dad looking at a laptop screen while holding a teething baby

Why Tiny Panther Movies and Reptile Pets Break Baby's System

I was holding exactly one half of a mashed banana when my seven-year-old nephew, visiting from Seattle for the weekend, loudly demanded we acquire a baby panther. It was 7:15 AM on a Saturday. My eleven-month-old son was currently mashing...

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A tired London dad holding twin toddlers while staring blankly at a laptop screen.

What the 100 Baby Challenge Sims 4 Taught Me About Real Twins

There's half a mashed banana firmly cemented to the kitchen ceiling, and I'm currently crouched behind the breakfast island while my two-year-old twin daughters aggressively negotiate the ownership of a wooden block using only high-pitched, dolphin-like squeals. It's 7:14 in...

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A very messy baby wearing a highly impractical luxury sweater

The Absurd Reality of High-End Baby Clothes

When I was eight months pregnant with Leo, my mother sat me down at her kitchen table, tapped her coffee mug with her fingernail, and told me to only buy stark white cotton so I could bleach the absolute hell...

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Exhausted dad looking stressed while wrestling twins in a busy kids clothes shop

The Oxford Street Kids Clothes Shop Incident and Other Regrets

We were twenty minutes into a torrential downpour on Oxford Street when Twin A discovered a rack of heavily sequined, faux-leather mermaid trousers. Twin B, meanwhile, was systematically pulling the size stickers off every pair of denim jeans in a...

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Tired dad looking under a car seat for a small pink baby lovey blanket

How a Single Bunny Blanket Took Our Entire Family Hostage

I'm currently upside down in the backseat of our Prius with a flashlight clamped between my teeth. It's 11:43 PM. My wife is standing on the porch holding a screaming eleven-month-old, and we're tearing the car apart because we lost...

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A dad holding a silicone baby teether and looking confused in his kitchen

The great baby silicone migration: a dad's troubleshooting guide

My mother-in-law texted me a picture of a 1980s plastic playpen yesterday, assuring me that my wife gnawed on the rails for months and turned out completely fine. Ten minutes later, my neighborβ€”who brews her own rainwater kombuchaβ€”leaned over our...

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Dad awkwardly holding a smartphone to photograph an 11-month-old baby who is actively chewing on a shoe.

Is the Job of a Brand Ambassador Actually Worth the Stress?

I'm currently wedged between our coffee table and a dangerously overloaded laundry basket, holding a smartphone at a 45-degree angle while making desperate clicking noises with my tongue. My 11-month-old son is supposed to be interacting thoughtfully with a visually...

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