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A tired dad looking at a baby monitor next to a pile of organic cotton onesies

The reality of raising a CDH baby when you have absolutely no idea ...

When we got the twenty-week anomaly scan results for the twins, I received exactly three pieces of advice about what to do next. My mother-in-law told us to play Mozart to the bump to encourage "internal harmony," a woman in...

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A tired dad staring in horror at a television screen

Why the voice remote caused a Sunday morning toddler meltdown

I was halfway through pouring a deeply inadequate cup of instant coffee when I heard the unmistakable, booming sound of a cinematic explosion coming from the living room. Let me set the scene: 6:14 am on a Sunday. I hadn't...

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Exhausted parent staring blankly at a baby monitor at 3am

It's All Over Now: Surviving The Postpartum Day Five Crash

My mate Dave, over a very hurried pint three weeks before the twins arrived, told me the secret to the first week at home was to "just keep the kettle on and your head down." The glossy NHS leaflet we...

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An exhausted dad holding a baby and a teething ring at night

Lil Baby My Turn: Surviving The 3 AM Parenting Night Shift

I'm standing in our kitchen at 2:13 AM, bathed in the sickly yellow glow of the microwave clock, staring at a slightly damp muslin cloth while holding a bottle that's somehow simultaneously burning hot on the outside and completely freezing...

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Exhausted dad holding twin babies on an airplane while surrounded by luggage.

Buying Lil Baby Tickets: The Great Airplane Lap Infant Lie

The seatbelt sign dings with that specific, mocking chime. I'm currently wedged into row 14B of an easyJet flight to Geneva, sweating through my jumper. Twin A is arching her back with the rigid intensity of a feral cat dodging...

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A tired dad staring suspiciously at a digital temperature reading in a dark nursery

How to Track an Infant Fever Without Completely Losing Your Mind

It’s 3:14 AM on a dreary Tuesday in November. Maya is radiating heat like a poorly insulated boiler, and I'm standing over her cot, frantically swiping a sixty-quid piece of infrared plastic across her forehead like I’m scanning a tin...

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A confused dad holding a vintage 90s plush toy with a heart tag at 2 AM

Dear Past Tom: The Great Beanie Baby Birthday Calendar Incident

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently hunched over the kitchen island, illuminated only by the harsh, judgemental glow of your phone and the standby light on the Tommee Tippee prep machine. One of the twins is asleep, radiating...

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A tired father holding two identical twin babies in a messy London kitchen.

Surviving Year One: Letter To My Clueless Past Self (baby_jul1)

You're currently standing in the baby aisle of John Lewis, staring at a wall of breast pumps with the terrified, vacant expression of a man who has just been told an asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. I know this because...

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A heavily loaded pram looking like a pack mule on a typical London pavement.

Surviving the Absolute Chaos of Your First Real Baby's Out Day

I'm currently standing in the hallway holding a solitary, incredibly tiny sock. I've been standing here staring at the wallpaper for what feels like twelve minutes, entirely paralysed by indecision. I can hear one of my two-year-old twin daughters crying...

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