Magazine

A toddler holding a very realistic silicone baby doll by the leg

A letter to myself before buying real life baby dolls for twins

Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently standing at the kitchen island at 11:42 PM, holding a Stanley knife, staring at a cardboard box that just arrived from a specialty toy retailer. When you slice through that packing tape...

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A dad holding two muddy toddlers wearing mixed organic and fast fashion basics

The Truth About Old Navy Baby Clothes and Toddler Mud

Don't, under any circumstances, dress two newly-mobile toddlers in matching cream linen rompers for a casual stroll through a damp London park in November. I did this exactly once, under the tragic, sleep-deprived delusion that I could maintain my pre-kids...

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Toddler bundled in a winter coat eating fruit

Why I Stopped Trying to Replicate the Niche Chinese Babies Trend

It's 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and Florence has gone fully rigid, achieving a level of plank-like stiffness that would genuinely impress an Olympic gymnast, purely to prevent me from putting her left arm into a winter coat. In a...

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A tired dad looking at a smartphone screen in horror while holding a teether

Why Searching For loser baby lyrics Is A Parenting Trap

My mother-in-law insisted I needed to pipe classical symphonies into the nursery to raise certified geniuses, the bloke who makes my flat whites swore by 90s West Coast hip-hop to build 'rhythmic resilience', and my NHS health visitor gently suggested...

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Toddler looking confused at a tablet playing pop music videos

Why "Yes Baby Madison Beer" Is Not A Sleep Training Guide

The biggest lie we tell ourselves as modern parents is that the internet’s search bar is a safe space so long as it contains the word "baby." I learned this the hard way last Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the edge...

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A safe nursery setup featuring a padded leather playmat on the floor

That Viral Baby Catch Video Is Fake But Gravity Is Very Real

I was three hours deep into a TikTok scrolling paralysis on the nursery glider when I saw it. My toddler had finally surrendered to sleep, his breath doing that weird, uneven newborn rattle, and my screen was flashing a story...

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An exhausted dad holding an iPad away from a frustrated kid while a baby crawls nearby.

How to Get Baby Nessie in Fisch (Without Ruining Your Weekend)

My living room currently sounds like a server room during a distributed denial-of-service attack, except the alarms are just my wife's nine-year-old nephew, Leo, aggressively clicking a mouse, while my eleven-month-old daughter aggressively hits a wooden block against the coffee...

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Confused mom holding a coffee cup looking at a bunch of bright green dinosaur toys and colorful baby building blocks.

The Truth About the Digital Dinosaur Taking Over My Living Room

It's 6:15 AM on a Tuesday. I'm standing in the kitchen wearing Dave's old college sweatpantsβ€”the grey ones with a literal hole in the left kneeβ€”and holding my third cup of coffee, which is already lukewarm. Leo, my four-year-old, is...

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Toddler trying to climb over a wooden baby gate in a living room

The Boss Baby Escape Movie Mix-Up: A Parent Warning

I dropped a whole laundry basket of clean, perfectly folded towels directly onto the kitchen floor last Tuesday. My five-year-oldβ€”who's honestly the reason I've premature gray hair and a caffeine dependencyβ€”had grabbed the iPad and yelled that he was searching...

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