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Why I Sing Mariah Carey Always Be My Baby At 3 AM For Sleep
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sweating through a gray David Bowie t-shirt that had questionable yellow spit-up crusted on the left shoulder, trying desperately to remember what you're actually supposed to buy if...
The Late Night Panic Guide To Baby Shaking Head Side to Side
You're staring at the grainy green footage of your baby monitor at two in the morning. Your kid is doing this aggressive, rhythmic thrashing thing against the mattress. It looks like they're trying to start a mosh pit in a...
The baby sis strikes back and other living room hostage situations
I'm sitting on the living room rug at two in the afternoon. The baby is asleep in the bassinet. My toddler is standing exactly three feet away, holding a rigid plastic triceratops, staring at the newborn with the kind of...
Decoding the Rora Baby Monster Phase Without Losing Your Mind
I was wearing Dave's faded gray Boston College sweatpantsβthe ones with the questionable stain on the left kneeβand my hair was in a knot so tight it was giving me a tension headache. It was 3:14 AM. I know the...
What the baby icon method actually looks like at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in late November. The wind was howling off Lake Michigan, rattling the thin windows of our Chicago apartment, but I could barely hear it over the sound of my six-week-old son screaming. He...
The Truth About The Rakai Glitch Trend And Toddler Screen Time
I was wrist-deep in pureed carrots when my group chat of first-time moms started vibrating off the kitchen counter. Someone had seen a TikTok video about a glitching kid and was actively spiraling into a panic. They thought it was...
The Newborn Survival Guide For When You're Running On Empty
Iβm standing in the hallway at 3:14 AM, bouncing on my heels until my calves burn, holding my oldest son who's screaming like Iβve personally offended his ancestors. I keep whispering, "baby come to me, just come here, let me...
Surviving the Baby Porcupine Phase (A Letter to My Past Self)
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold tile of the downstairs bathroom. Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, youβre wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the bleach stain on the left thigh, and you're hiding...
The Viral Baby Rasta Drama & The Truth About Public Meltdowns
I was standing in aisle four of our local H-E-B last Tuesday, balancing a jumbo pack of overnight diapers on my left hip while my two-year-old practically levitated out of the shopping cart, screaming at a pitch only dogs and...