Magazine

Marcus holding a vintage 90s plush toy next to a modern baby-safe organic teether

Why That Vintage Ty Beanie Baby Is a Terrible Gift for Infants

My mom's care package arrived at 2 PM on a Tuesday, smelling faintly of mothballs and unfiltered 1997 optimism. I sliced open the cardboard, pulled out Claude the Crabβ€”complete with the pristine heart-shaped tag encased in a plastic protectorβ€”and handed...

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A messy pile of organic cotton yarn next to a half-finished crochet baby project.

Dear Past Jess: The Brutal Truth About Crochet Baby Blankets

You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery surrounded by fifty dollars worth of mustard yellow yarn, crying because you dropped a stitch four rows back. I know this because I was you exactly six months ago, hugely pregnant...

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A tired mother looking at a spider plant in a baby nursery.

A Letter To Myself About The Spider Baby Panic

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing in the doorway of the nursery at two in the morning, holding the Dyson stick vacuum like it's a loaded weapon. You're wearing a milk-stained nursing bra from yesterday, your eyes...

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Mother adjusting infant in car seat with white blanket for passport photo

Surviving the U.S. Infant Passport Process Without Losing Your Mind

The fluorescent lights at the pharmacy were humming a specific pitch of anxiety while a nineteen-year-old named Tyler adjusted a digital camera. I was holding my squirming four-month-old up by his armpits, trying desperately to keep my own hands out...

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A dusty 90s plush bear sitting next to a modern organic silicone baby teether

The Truth About The Most Expensive Beanie Babies

I'm sitting on the concrete floor of my parents' garage in the Chicago suburbs, sneezing thirty years of dust out of my nose. In front of me is a massive plastic storage bin labeled with my name and the phrase...

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Dad sitting by a wooden baby gym researching Tommy Richman track meanings on his phone

What Are the Tommy Richman Million Dollar Baby Lyrics About?

My coworker Dave pinged me on Slack Tuesday morning to say I desperately needed to block a certain new Tommy Richman song on Spotify because the themes were way too mature for my house. Two hours later, my mother-in-law called...

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A safe nursery setup featuring a padded leather playmat on the floor

That Viral Baby Catch Video Is Fake But Gravity Is Very Real

I was three hours deep into a TikTok scrolling paralysis on the nursery glider when I saw it. My toddler had finally surrendered to sleep, his breath doing that weird, uneven newborn rattle, and my screen was flashing a story...

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A startled British dad staring down at a wolf spider carrying spiderlings on the nursery floor

The 2am baby wolf spider encounter that changed my parenting

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the London flat was entirely silent except for the rhythmic, congested breathing of Twin A, or possibly Twin B, since they frequently swap beds just to gaslight me. I was on a...

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A camping tent in the woods with scattered baby gear and a wooden play gym

"A Dingo Ate My Baby": How A 90s Joke Became My Parenting Nightmare

The digital clock on the nursery wall reads 2:14 AM. The temperature monitor is holding steady at exactly 68.4 degrees. My 11-month-old son is currently using my left collarbone as a mattress, drooling a small puddle of milk onto my...

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