Magazine
Dear past Tom: Skip the polyester baby yoda costume
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sitting on the sofa with a lukewarm cup of tea, looking at an online checkout cart. It's late September. You're feeling a misguided sense of autumnal whimsy, bolstered perhaps by the fact...
The Ugly Truth About Baby Yarn: What I Actually Learned the Hard Way
I'm sitting on the floor of my oldest boy's nursery at two in the morning, practically cross-eyed under the glow of a cheap ring light I bought for my Etsy shop, trying to use a pair of cosmetic tweezers to...
When Your Kid Goes Full Baby Yaga: A Very Tired Dad's Guide
The Nanit camera app on my phone says it's exactly 3:14 AM. My battery is hovering at 12%, and the ambient room temperature is holding steady at 68.4 degrees only because I spent forty minutes calibrating the smart vent system...
Before & After a Baby Wasp Sting: What I Wish I Had Known Earlier
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing those terrible gray biker shorts that ride up too high, holding a lukewarm iced coffee that I hadn’t actually taken a sip of in three hours. Leo was eight...
My 11-Month-Old Daughter is Basically a 150-Pound Baby Walrus
It’s 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The glow of my dual monitors is the only light in our Portland living room, casting long, depressing shadows over a floor entirely covered in colorful plastic debris. On the left screen, I've a...
The 3 AM Splash Zone: A Very British Guide to Baby Vomiting
It hit my left shoulder first, warm and surprisingly heavy, before cascading down the back of my only clean t-shirt and settling comfortably into the gap between the sofa cushions. I froze, blinking in the dim glow of a nightlight,...
The Day I Surrendered to YouTube Baby Videos (And Then Panicked)
It was 4:17 PM on a Tuesday in late November, which in London means it had been pitch black outside for what felt like three consecutive days, and both girls were currently engaged in a competitive screaming match on the...
The 2 AM FaceTime: My Honest Baby Tylenol Dosage Chart
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently standing in your dark kitchen at 2:14 AM wearing Dave's oversized college hoodie that smells faintly of damp basement. You're holding a lukewarm mug of yesterday's coffee because you somehow think...
I Spent Three Hours Researching The Baby Tron (It’s Not A Stroller)
I had my credit card resting on my laptop keyboard, three browser tabs open to tech review sites, and was aggressively searching for the firmware update logs for something called the "baby tron." My teenage nephew had mentioned it at...