Magazine
The Brutal Truth About Beanie Baby Value and Nursery Safety
I'm sitting on the freezing concrete floor of my parents' garage in the Chicago suburbs, staring at three massive plastic tubs filled with Princess Diana bears and tie-dye lobsters. My mom is standing over me, casually mentioning that this plastic...
Dear Past Tom: The Great Beanie Baby Birthday Calendar Incident
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently hunched over the kitchen island, illuminated only by the harsh, judgemental glow of your phone and the standby light on the Tommee Tippee prep machine. One of the twins is asleep, radiating...
The Baphi Baby Search Incident: Why I Threw Our iPad Away
I was up to my elbows in raw chicken and breadcrumbs when I heard it. That specific, slightly robotic chime of the voice-assistant activating on the family iPad that my three-year-old had dragged into the kitchen. I didn't think much...
Why the Baki Baby Meme is Bizarre and What Real Strength Looks Like
I was sitting on the floor of my home office last Tuesday, trying to fulfill three Etsy orders for custom vinyl tumblers while simultaneously folding a mountain of tiny, mismatched socks, when my sisterβs fourteen-year-old nephew strolled in. He stepped...
The Midnight Panic Guide to Checking Your Baby's Temperature
Dear Sarah from six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting on the cold hexagon tile of your sister's guest bathroom. It's 2:14 AM. You've had roughly four cups of French roast today, the last of...
The Messy Reality of Being a Baby's Mom: Surviving Newborns
I was sitting on my bathroom floor at 2:14 AM with a broken breast pump in one hand and a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines in the other, aggressively weeping because my golden retriever, Buster, looked at me wrong. My...
The Truth About Babys Breath Flowers in Your Newborns Nursery
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're standing in the craft store floral aisle, heavily pregnant, holding a thirty-dollar bundle of dried white weeds. You're convinced this is the final touch your nursery needs to tie the whole woodland aesthetic...
Why I Threw Out the iPad: Real Talk on Baby Screen Time Limits
I was packing up three Etsy orders for custom birth announcement signs, trying to balance my phone on my knee, and completely failing to ignore my youngest baby screaming for his morning nap. I had this grand idea to find...
Surviving Year One: Letter To My Clueless Past Self (baby_jul1)
You're currently standing in the baby aisle of John Lewis, staring at a wall of breast pumps with the terrified, vacant expression of a man who has just been told an asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. I know this because...