Magazine
The Panicked Dad's Guide to Buying Tiny Metal Ear Ornaments
The 19-year-old holding what looked like a neon pink staple gun was snapping her chewing gum with rhythmic, terrifying precision. I stood perfectly still on the sticky floor of the high street accessory shop, gripping the handle of the double...
The Truth About Baby Dresses No One Tells New Parents
My oldest daughter was exactly three months old, and I was sweating straight through my deodorant trying to shove her chunky little arms into a stiff, sequined tulle monstrosity for Easter Sunday while she screamed like I was actively torturing...
Dear Past Tom: The Baby Dragon Evo Is Not A Wooden Toy
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor at 6:13 AM, watching Maya meticulously paint the skirting boards with organic oat porridge while Lily tries to negotiate with a rogue Cheerio she found under the...
Is Baby Dove The Answer? My Total Newborn Skincare Meltdown
It was 2017, and I was sitting on the edge of our impossibly cold bathroom floor tiles in my stained gray nursing tank, crying into a lukewarm mug of French roast. Maya was four months old, and her skin looked...
Unboxing baby dolls that look real: A first-time dad's survival guide
The box cutter sliced through the packing tape at exactly 7:42 PM on a Tuesday. I peeled back the layers of tissue paper, fully expecting a wooden puzzle or maybe some harmless stacking blocks from my wife's aunt. Instead, I...
The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Choosing a Great Baby Doctor
I'm currently typing this one-handed on my phone in a clinic waiting room that smells aggressively like rubbing alcohol and cheap cherry lollipops, while my youngest tries to aggressively gnaw my collarbone off. The lady across from me is staring...
What the bhad baby news taught me about newborn survival mode
The blue light from my phone was set to the absolute lowest brightness, but in the pitch black of our Portland bedroom at 3:17 AM, it still felt like staring directly into a laser pointer. My eleven-month-old daughter was asleep...
The Myth of the Book Baby and Why My Twins Refused to Read It
At twenty past three on a damp Tuesday morning in our entirely too small London flat, I found myself holding a screaming infant in one arm while desperately trying to flip the pages of a sleep-training manual with my teeth....
The Miniature CEO: Why I Stopped Dressing My Baby Like a Tiny Adult
I was exactly four and a half minutes into trying to button a miniature, tailored tweed blazer onto my squirming 11-month-old when I realized my entire approach to parenting apparel was fundamentally flawed. He was doing that terrifying back-arching maneuver,...