Magazine

Mom holding a coffee cup looking shocked at her smartphone screen in a messy living room.

That Cute Little Green Alien Herb is Definitely Not for Kids

I was standing in line at H-E-B last Tuesday, wrestling my squirming two-year-old on my hip while trying to order a baby shower gift for my cousin on my phone. She is completely obsessed with that Mandalorian show, so I...

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Tired mom rocking and patting a baby's back in a dimly lit nursery

When Can You Finally Stop Burping Your Baby? A Mom's Honest Story

I remember sitting in the dark in the rocking chair that squeaked every time I leaned back, aggressively patting my oldest son's back like I was trying to dislodge a stuck vending machine snack. It was probably 3:14 AM on...

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11-month-old baby eating baby back ribs in a Portland backyard

Spare Ribs vs Baby Back Ribs: A Dad’s Guide to Debugging Toddler BBQ

I was standing at the meat counter of our neighborhood New Seasons in Portland, panic-googling whether "baby back" meant the ribs actually came from a baby pig. My wife Sarah was three aisles over dealing with a minor avocado-related meltdown...

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Marcus looking at a tiny white baby termite on the bathroom floor with a flashlight

Dear Past Marcus: Those Aren't Pale Ants, They're Baby Termites

Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago: Put down the flashlight. That tiny, pale, squirming thing you're currently poking with a cotton swab at 2:14 AM on the bathroom tile is not an albino ant. It's a baby termite. Don't...

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Baby wearing a soft organic cotton bodysuit sitting quietly in a church pew.

The Honest Truth About Your Baby Dedication (And Surviving It)

Let me paint a picture for y'all. It's Sunday morning, roughly 10:15 AM. I'm sitting in the second pew, sweating clean through my nice silk blouse, while my oldest sonβ€”who was supposed to look like a literal angel from heavenβ€”is...

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An exhausted mom holding a crying baby in red and green matching holiday pajamas.

My Absolute Worst Night With Matching Baby Christmas Pajamas

The zipper was officially jammed in the microfleece reindeer antlers. It was roughly two in the morning on December twenty-third, and my six-month-old, Maya, was screaming with the raw intensity of a level-one trauma arrival. Her face was the color...

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A tired parent holding a baby while a smartphone plays Daniel Caesar's Baby Blue track in a dimly lit nursery

The 3AM Savior: Decoding Baby Blue Daniel Caesar Lyrics

There's a very specific type of despair that sets in around 3:14 AM when one twin is screaming because the shadows on the wall are looking at her funny, and the other is methodically attempting to ingest the cardboard spine...

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A tired parent attempting to burp a baby over their shoulder

When Do You Actually Stop Burping a Baby? An Honest Dad Guide

Dear Tom from six months agoβ€”or rather, let's cast our minds all the way back to the dark trenches when the twins were tiny, because time is a flat, milk-stained circle and my trauma has simply manifested as a letter...

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A cardboard box tied to an oak tree in a Texas backyard

What to Do When Your Kid Finds a Baby Squirrel in the Yard

"Drop the Similac, Tucker!" I yelled across the patio, lunging over a scattered pile of wooden blocks while clutching a squirming newborn to my chest. My oldest sonβ€”bless his animal-loving, highly impulsive heartβ€”was kneeling in the damp Bermuda grass, holding...

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