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How I completely debugged our library of baby books for girls
It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor, surrounded by a mountain of glossy cardboard. My wife, Sarah, is blissfully asleep down the hall, and our 11-month-old daughter is currently executing a sleep cycle that...
From Fragile Newborn To Full baby_gopn1k
I found Maya in the kitchen at 6:13 AM this morning, squatting perfectly on her haunches in the corner by the bin, wearing a matching velour tracksuit and aggressively chewing on a teething rusk like it was a cheap cigar....
Why The Sit To Stand Infant Scooter Is A Major Motor Update
For the last eleven months, I operated under the assumption that tiny children on wheels were basically just tiny teenagers, meaning I had at least five years before I needed to worry about wheeled mobility devices. I was sitting at...
Surviving the Inevitable Baby Keyboard Smash in My Home Office
"asdfghjkl;'" was the exact, unedited message I sent to my accountant last Tuesday at 9:14 AM. I'd love to claim it was an avant-garde statement about the futility of modern tax law, but the truth is considerably shorter, louder, and...
Finding the best evo baby dragon deck (When you thought it was a toy)
Standing in my kitchen at 2 AM, waiting for the bottle warmer to hit exactly 98.6 degrees, I got a text from my 12-year-old nephew asking if I could Apple Pay him five bucks so he could finish building the...
Why that "Baby Gem Boxwood" in Your Garden is a Toddler Trap
It was Tuesday, 4pm, and the sky over South London was that specific shade of bruised plum that threatens rain but only ever delivers a sort of aggressive, damp mist. I was staring at a landscaping quote from our landlord...
The Best Evo Baby Dragon Decks for Sleep-Deprived Parents
There's this massive, completely unhinged myth in the parenting space that the absolute second you bring a newborn home from the hospital, your smartphone suddenly becomes this pristine, educational tool used exclusively for tracking ounces of breastmilk and playing white...
Why bringing a baby tortoise into a toddler home is a terrible idea
It's 2:14 AM and I'm standing in my living room using a digital meat thermometer to measure the ambient soil temperature of a wooden box. Inside this box is a creature roughly the size of a rich tea biscuit that...
The Ultimate Real-Life Baby Steps Trophy Guide for Parents
I was elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop, desperately trying to get twelve custom nursery signs out the door before the post office closed, when I heard it. The distinct, terrifying sound of a twenty-pound human achieving bipedal...