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baby carehealthmotherhoodnewbornparenting humoursurvival
Twin dad holding a red-faced screaming baby in a dim living room

Surviving the 6pm Meltdown: A Very Tired Dad's Guide to Colic

The absolute worst thing you can do at 6:13 PM on a Tuesday, when your infant begins their nightly impersonation of a faulty car alarm, is to load up YouTube on your phone, prop it against a cold cup of...

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A mom holding a baby registry scanner gun looking overwhelmed in a store aisle

The Great Registry Meltdown and the Weird Return of Buybuy Baby

I was twenty-four weeks pregnant, sitting in the sweltering heat of my Ford F-150 outside a suburban strip mall, ugly crying into a half-eaten sleeve of saltines. It was July in Texas, my ankles had officially merged with my calves,...

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Wooden hardware mounted stair gate installed in a messy family home hallway

Why My First Stair Gate Was a Complete Disaster and Other Confessions

I dropped an entire basket of freshly folded onesies right at the bottom of the steps when I saw it. My oldest son, Carterβ€”who's now five and still the absolute poster child for why I've gray hairβ€”was nine months old...

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baby formulabudgetingfeedingnewbornsurvivaltwin dad
A tired parent staring blankly at a tin of baby formula in a dark kitchen

The Brutal Truth About Choosing a Baby Formula for Your Infant

The biggest myth in modern parenting is that the price tag on a tin of powdered milk directly correlates to how much you love your child. I used to believe this. Before the twins arrived, I assumed that unless a...

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A very tired dad holding two crying babies while trying to drink cold coffee

Surviving the "Pretty Little Baby" Illusion (And Other Newborn Real...

I'm standing in the poorly lit postnatal ward of a central London hospital, staring at what looks like two furious, bruised potatoes. My wife is completely unconscious, having just performed a biological miracle that looked exactly like a medical emergency,...

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baby sleepbudgeteco-friendlyparenting humoursurvivaltwin dad
A tired father holding a baby while looking at financial spreadsheets on a laptop

My 3 AM Million Dollar Baby Obsession

It's 2:47 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting on the nursery floor wearing a hoodie that smells faintly of regurgitated sweet potato, trying to rock one of my twin daughters back to sleep while her sister aggressively kicks the cot...

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baby girlbaby namehumorparenting humoursurvivaltwin dad
A frustrated dad staring at a laptop screen filled with a spreadsheet of baby names

The Google Sheet That Nearly Broke Us: A Guide to Baby Girl Names

Row 47 of our shared Google Sheet was where my marriage nearly met its untimely end over the name 'Blythe'. My wife, heavily pregnant and radiating a sort of exhausted menace, argued that it sounded literary and sophisticated. I argued...

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baby safetyhumormotherhoodParenting Guidescreen timesurvival
A messy living room with scattered baby toys and a television glowing in the dark.

Why the Baby Driver Cast Fooled Me on Family Movie Night

My oldest boy, Jackson, is standing dead center in the living room wearing mismatched dinosaur pajamas, clutching a half-eaten string cheese like a microphone, and staring completely wide-eyed at our television screen. It's 9:45 PM on a Friday. He's supposed...

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Twin toddlers looking aggressively demanding while sitting in high chairs

Living With a Real Life Boss Baby: Who Is Actually in Charge?

Before the twins were born, my mother-in-law tapped her teacup and said, "Establish dominance early, Tom, or they'll walk all over you." Two days later, a bloke at the Dog & Duck assured me, "Just let 'em cry, mate, show...

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