The Bruce Bolt Graduated Compression Arm Sleeve - Baby Blue
It was 3:14 AM, the glow of my second monitor was illuminating the living room wall, and I was holding a cylindrical tube of incredibly tight, moisture-wicking spandex next to my 11-month-oldβs chubby left forearm. He was gnawing on a...
Why I Googled the Brooklyn Baby Lyrics in the Minivan Today
Tuesday, 8:14 AM. I'm sitting in the school drop-off line wearing black leggings that haven't actually seen a yoga studio since approximately 2019. There's a crusty white stain on my left knee that I'm aggressively ignoringβit's either toothpaste or yogurt,...
The Great British Baby Buggy Illusion and What Actually Works
I'm currently wedged in the doorway of a Costa Coffee in Balham, the rear left wheel of our double transport system inexplicably locked, whilst twin A attempts to lick the condensation off the glass and twin B practices a high-pitched...
Why the boss baby characters explain your toxic toddler
Listen. When my cousin was pregnant with her second, the advice poured in like a leaked pipe in an old Chicago apartment. My auntie told her the older kid just needs to learn his place because the new baby is...
Is My Baby Turning Blue Or Am I Just Sleep-Deprived And Panicking?
When we started weaning the twins, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory pieces of advice within a single twenty-four-hour period. My mother, dispensing wisdom from the 1990s, called to say, "Whatever you do, Tommy, don't give them carrots yet, they'll...
The Search Query That Completely Ruined My Tuesday Night
My thumbs were hovering over the search bar at 3:14 AM, the harsh glare of my smartphone illuminating the spit-up stain on my shoulder. I was just trying to buy clothes. Specifically, I wanted our 11-month-old son to look less...
The search history nightmare and the offline baseline
Maya texted me at two in the morning on a Tuesday. It was just a screenshot of her nine-year-oldβs iPad search history followed by a single skull emoji. She thought she had all the filters on. She thought she had...
A Dad's Messy Quest for the Best Sunscreen for Babies
It's exactly 78.4 degrees at Laurelhurst Park, and I'm currently holding a pressurized aluminum can of SPF 50 like it's a live grenade. My eleven-month-old son, Leo, is squirming on the picnic blanket like I'm trying to install a malicious...
When Pumping Hardware And Hospital Photoshoots Suddenly Collide
The machine strapped to my wifeβs chest sounded exactly like a PlayStation 4 struggling to render a massive game file. It was a rhythmic, mechanical grinding noise that echoed off the sterile walls of our postpartum recovery room. We were...