The Complicated Reality of Expecting After a Loss
The paper sheet on the examination table crinkled with a sound so violently loud it seemed to echo off the drab walls of the University College Hospital fetal medicine unit. It was a Tuesday, it was raining in that relentless,...
The Truth About The Kyte Baby Sleep Sack Drama
It was two in the morning in late November. The wind coming off Lake Michigan was rattling our bedroom windows like it wanted to pick a fight, and I was standing in the dark bathroom aiming a hairdryer at a...
The 3 AM Baby Powder Disaster That Changed Our Diaper Strategy
The humidity monitor in the nursery read exactly 46 percent, but it felt like a humid jungle as I wrestled my 11-month-old at 3:14 AM. He was furious. He had a diaper rash that looked like angry topography, and I...
Debugging the Y2K Aesthetic When Your Infant Refuses to Flex
We were at our usual Saturday spotβthat overly loud Portland coffee roaster where the tables are made of reclaimed shipping palletsβwhen my eleven-month-old daughter simply stopped working. Her entire motor function API just failed. She was sitting in her high...
Finding a Baby Cockroach in the Nursery (And Not Losing Your Mind)
It was 2:14 AM. I was standing in the middle of Maya's nursery wearing Dave's giant, horribly stained Villanova hoodie from 2008, holding a half-empty bottle of breastmilk that had somehow already gone completely cold. I was practically sleepwalking when...
Debugging the erratic hardware of your newborn's respiratory system
My mother-in-law confidently told me that if the nursery is completely quiet, the baby is sleeping perfectly and I should go make a sandwich. My lead developer at work, however, told me that I needed to purchase a hospital-grade under-mattress...
Dear Past Marcus: Let's Talk About Baby Gold and Choking Hazards
Dear Marcus of six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting on the edge of the living room rug, staring at a tiny velvet box that Aunt Linda just handed you. Inside is a 14-karat baby...
Debugging Infant Sleep With The Taking Cara Babies Framework
The glow of my phone screen at 3:14 AM was the only light in the room, illuminating my desperate, one-thumbed Google search: taking cara babi sleep help please. Outside, the endless Portland drizzle was doing its best to act as...
Solly Baby Wrap Setup: A Dad's Guide to Not Dropping the Kid
It was raining, because it's always raining in Portland, and I was standing next to my Subaru holding a screaming eight-pound potato while seventeen feet of buttery soft fabric aggressively soaked up a puddle of dirty rainwater. My wife watched...