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babybaby healthinfant caremillennial momteething
Mom holding a slightly feverish baby and checking temperature with a digital thermometer

The Late-Night Panic: When to Actually Worry About Your Baby's Fever

It's two in the morning and your hand is hovering over your sleeping kid's forehead like a malfunctioning drone. You finally make contact. They feel hot. Not just warm, but radiating heat like the exposed pipe in my old Wrigleyville...

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Exhausted millennial mom holding coffee and a frida baby nose sucker

Dear Past Me: Surviving Baby Colds With A Frida Baby Nose Sucker

Dear Past Me from six months ago, You're currently standing in aisle 14 at Target, holding a registry scanner gun for your pregnant sister, and staring blindly at a wall of infant grooming tools. You're wearing your stained gray "mom"...

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Marcus holding a crying baby while looking confused at a smartphone screen.

Before and After: My Framework for Debugging a Fussy Baby

It's 3:14 AM and the glowing green numbers on our microwave are actively mocking me. I'm currently bouncing on a giant blue yoga ball, clutching a screaming eleven-month-old against my chest, while my wife desperately tries to warm up a...

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Wooden play gym with natural animal toys in a minimalist nursery

Raising the 'Baby Rich' Without Making Them Insufferable

I was staring at a three-thousand-dollar acrylic crib on my phone at 4 a.m. while covered in sour milk, waiting for my maternity leave pay to clear. That was the exact moment I realized my entire concept of being baby...

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A pink bottle of baby oil sitting next to a silicone sushi teether on a wooden nursery dresser.

That Viral Baby Oil Meme Made Me Rethink My Entire Nursery

It was 2:00 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on my living room floor surrounded by packing tape, trying to fulfill fourteen Etsy orders before my toddler woke up demanding string cheese. I had my phone propped up...

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Exhausted mom holding a crying congested newborn baby in a dark nursery

The 2 AM Snot Panic and the Alligator Wrestling Match

I was sitting in the rocking chair at two in the morning, holding my oldest kid when he was just three weeks old, and he sounded exactly like a forty-pound pug who had just run a marathon in the Texas...

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Tired dad looking at a laptop while baby plays with a silicone plate on highchair

I panic-googled Roblox pill babies at 2 AM so you do not have to

I was sitting on my brother’s couch in southeast Portland last Sunday, desperately trying to keep my squirming 11-month-old from eating a suspicious clump of golden retriever hair, when my nine-year-old nephew yelled into his gaming headset: "Bro, grab the...

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A stressed parent looking at a smartphone while a toddler sleeps in a dark nursery.

Why The Weird OPM Babi Trend Belongs Nowhere Near Your Nursery

It was eleven at night on a Tuesday when the heavy bass started shaking my wipes warmer. Maya was ten months old and cutting her top two incisors simultaneously. I hadn't slept a full sleep cycle since Sunday. My younger...

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Jess holding her baby in a steamy bathroom at 3 AM trying to calm a cough

Nuclear Bomb vs Coughing Baby: A Late Night Letter to Myself

Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, cheap linoleum of the master bathroom with the shower running on full-blast hot, peeling the beige wallpaper right off the drywall while you rock a sweaty, angry six-month-old...

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