Let's talk about the baby einstein aquarium and infant sleep
My mother-in-law sat at my kitchen island and told me those glowing plastic fish were the only reason my husband ever slept through the night in the early nineties. My doctor looked at my meticulously tracked sleep logs, sighed, and...
Why the Baby Driver Actor Made Me Rethink Infant Safety
Dear Marcus from six months ago. I know exactly what you're doing right now. It's 3 AM in our Portland living room. You've logged exactly 3.4 hours of heavily fragmented sleep, and you're currently acting as a human mattress for...
Why I Stopped Buying Flashy Baby Designer Clothes
It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday, and I was standing in Mayaβs nursery wearing a nursing tank top that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, holding my breath. She was three weeks old. My mother-in-law had...
Dear Past Priya: The Honest Truth About The Baby Delight Bouncer
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold hardwood floor of our Logan Square apartment, staring at a pile of gray metal tubes and a piece of canvas. Your coffee is cold. The baby is doing...
Starring in the Real Baby Daddy Show (Minus the Laugh Track)
Dear Tom, You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wearing a fleece dressing gown that smells faintly of Sudocrem and despair, staring at a phone screen playing an old episode of that American sitcom. You know the one....
Surviving The Cast of Million Dollar Baby & Nursery Furniture
You're currently sitting on the floor of what used to be Dave's home office, wearing those gray maternity leggings with the yogurt stain on the left knee, crying into a lukewarm mug of decaf coffee. It's like, 11:45 PM on...
That Christmas Baby Please Come Home Year (Letter To Past Me)
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of our crusty Honda Pilot, parked outside a CVS in what can only be described as a disrespectful amount of snow, aggressively crying into a lukewarm...
What Nobody Tells You About Buying Cribs for Babies
I was sitting on the floor of what used to be my home office, dripping sweat onto a set of Scandinavian assembly instructions, clutching a tiny Allen key like a weapon. It was 2am. My wife was heavily pregnant with...
Why That Viral Cry Baby Popmart Figure Isn't Actually For Your Baby
I was standing at my kitchen sink, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal dishwater, when my 14-year-old niece shoved her phone directly into my face. On the screen was what looked like a perfectly round, tear-streaked child stuffed inside a tiny, fuzzy...