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Baby sitting in a high chair signing more with their hands covered in sweet potato

How Baby Sign Language Finally Stopped the Dinner Time Screaming

I was standing in my kitchen staring at sweet potato puree dripping from the ceiling fan, holding a stack of shipping labels for my Etsy shop, while my ten-month-old son arched his back so hard I thought he might actually...

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A plump baby seal resting alone on a grey coastal rock formation

Why Rescuing That Adorable Coastal Baby Seal Is A Terrible Idea

We were twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a restorative family morning on a Cornish shingle beach, locked in a desperate battle with a pop-up windbreak that refused to pop anywhere but directly into my face, when Twin...

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Sarah holding a cold cup of coffee looking stressed at a laptop screen

The Baby Registry Amazon Myth That Totally Ruined My Saturday

I was wearing Dave's oversized college sweatpants—the ones with the bleach stain on the left knee that he absolutely refuses to throw away—sitting on our living room rug with my third cup of lukewarm, frankly terrible coffee, just sobbing at...

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Portland dad holding an eleven-month-old baby otter in a community swimming pool wrapped in a towel.

Debugging Infant Water Safety and the Sea Otter Parenting Method

I'm currently losing a wrestling match with a wet, angry noodle on a bench that smells aggressively of bleach. My eleven-month-old son has somehow managed to triple his body weight purely through the physics of being slippery, and the acoustic...

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Exhausted dad holding a spreadsheet about baby gear while staring in bewilderment at toddler toys

Ready For Baby One More Time? A Dad's Glitchy Guide

It was 3:14 AM. The air was thick with the smell of organic sweet potato puree and sheer desperation. Our 11-month-old, Leo, had just executed a flawless system override by projectile vomiting directly into my left slipper. I was standing...

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Tired dad looking at a laptop spreadsheet while holding a baby

Debugging the Ultimate Spreadsheet of Baby Names for Girls - Dad Log

Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently sitting at your desk at 2 AM. Your daughter is five months old, sleeping for a miraculous forty-two-minute stretch, and your brain is finally quiet. Then your buddy Dave texts you. He...

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Twin toddlers sitting on the floor looking confused at a smartphone screen

The Midnight Google Search for Baby Metal That Broke My Brain

It was roughly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, a time of night when the human brain is largely just a puddle of lukewarm porridge, and I was pinned beneath Maya, the heavier of the twins, who had recently decided that...

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Exhausted mom holding a newborn in a sustainable Kianao bodysuit

Reclaiming The Title Of Baby Mama And Surviving Year One

My wife is asleep next to me, emitting a low, rhythmic wheeze that means she’s currently in deep REM, and I'm sitting in the dark, furiously scrolling through a Wikipedia rabbit hole about billionaires. I literally caught myself googling how...

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Two tiny baby jordans scattered across a messy living room floor next to a chewed silicone teether

Dear Past Tom: The Expensive, Absurd Reality of Baby Jordans

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sweating through your grey t-shirt, pinning Florence between your knees while attempting to force her inexplicably square, fleshy foot into a miniature, stiff leather basketball shoe. She's screaming as if you've suggested...

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