Magazine

A dad looking stressed at his phone while his baby daughter spins in the living room

The "Baby Girl Let Me See You Twirl Lyrics" Viral Audio Trap

My thumb was hovering over the bright blue "Post" button when Sarah’s hand shot across the kitchen island and physically tackled my phone into the fruit bowl. "What are you doing?" my wife asked, looking at me like I had...

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Bewildered dad looking at a spreadsheet of woodland nursery themes with coffee

The Algorithm for a Delayed Shower That Doesn't Suck

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a Google Sheet titled Party_Logistics_V3.xlsx, while our five-month-old daughter aggressively chews on a silicone spatula. Since we moved to Portland at 38 weeks pregnant,...

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A reusable canvas tote filled with practical baby items and coffee

Debugging Baby Gift Baskets: What Sleep-Deprived Parents Need

It’s 3:14 AM. I'm holding a screaming, seven-pound potato in one arm while desperately trying to rip through industrial-grade cellophane with my teeth. The target? A tiny tube of diaper cream buried at the absolute center of one of the...

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Exhausted dad holding two crying twins surrounded by useless musical baby toys

How to choose a baby gift without getting blocked on WhatsApp

I'm currently standing in my narrow London hallway holding a four-foot-tall plush giraffe that aggressively blares a tinny version of 'It's a Small World' whenever you look at it funny. It's Tuesday morning, my two-year-old twin girls are currently screaming...

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Toddler in a raincoat looking nervously at a flock of hissing waterfowl near a London pond

The Day the Park Waterfowl Fought Back: A Survival Log

The hissing started before we even breached the tree line at Hampstead Heath, sounding less like a natural animal noise and more like a punctured bicycle tyre that was somehow actively angry with me. I had a toddler under each...

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A tired mother looking at her phone in a dark nursery

A late night letter to myself about the baby gap discount code

Dear Priya from last November. You're sitting in the dark. The baby is finally down after three false starts. Your phone screen is blinding you because you forgot to turn on night mode. You're staring at a cart containing fourteen...

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A tired London dad trying to distract twin toddlers with wooden sensory toys.

Dear Tom: The Truth About Baby Games Online and Screen Time

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, I know precisely where you're right now, mostly because I can still feel the lingering trauma in my left shoulder. You're huddled by Gate 42 at Gatwick Airport, sweating profusely through a shirt...

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Mom laying on rug making funny faces at her four month old baby

The Honest Truth About Baby Games When You're Just Exhausted

I’m currently flat on my back on the living room rug, making bizarre clicking noises with my tongue while my four-month-old aggressively mouths a silicone spatula. Somewhere in the background, my oldest is trying to teach the dog how to...

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Exhausted dad looking at a digital watch while toddler runs away

Surviving toddler time warps and the baby g watch revelation

Yesterday at 4:15 PM, I watched a fellow parent achieve the impossible by the swings in Victoria Park. His seven-year-old daughter was mid-tantrum, fully committed to avoiding the inevitable march home for dinner. Then, a tiny beep emanated from her...

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