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Why your baby hates bath time and the truth about baby towels
My mother told me to just wrap him in one of our old faded bath sheets because they're the softest things in the house. The lactation consultant at the clinic said I should only use pure woven muslin imported from...
Surviving the Nightly Baby Toothbrush Wrestling Match in Sweatpants
It's 7:42 PM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing a pair of gray fleece sweatpants that haven't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration. My left knee is firmly but gently pinning an eight-month-old Maya to the...
The Unfiltered Reality of Welcoming Baby Number Three
I was sweating through my favorite vintage band shirt in the middle of an August afternoon, staring at the back seat of my SUV with a tape measure in one hand and a half-eaten string cheese in the other. I...
The Great Bread Deception: Meeting A Baby Swan (And Surviving)
It's a crisp Tuesday morning at St James's Park, and an elderly gentleman in a tweed flat cap is hurling massive, doughy chunks of supermarket sliced white bread into the water. A fluffy grey cygnet—which I've just spent ten minutes...
Why putting tiny shades on twins feels like a hostage negotiation
I'm currently crouched behind the garden shed, clutching a pair of miniature, neon-pink plastic frames like they're a live grenade, trying to figure out which of my two-year-old daughters is least likely to bite me if I approach her face....
Navigating Baby Steps Nudity and Family Privacy (And Pants)
It was 7:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my entryway wearing a stained NYU sweatshirt from 2009, holding a mug of coffee that had already gone cold because I’d left it on the bathroom counter for...
The Baby Steps Game Disaster and How to Actually Teach Walking
It was somewhere around 3:17 in the morning, a time that I'm increasingly convinced exists solely to punish parents for their past life choices. Maya, the slightly more reasonable of my two-year-old twin daughters, was fast asleep in her cot,...
The Giant Myth About Baby Snacks And What I Actually Feed Them
I was standing in aisle four at Target on a Tuesday at like, 10:45 AM, wearing a nursing tank with a spit-up stain shaped exactly like Florida, holding a six-dollar canister of organic kale-infused star puffs. Maya was eight months...
Why My Humiliating First Attempt At A Baby Sling Made Me Cry
It was exactly 4:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing barefoot on the cold kitchen linoleum, sobbing quietly while trying to maneuver twenty feet of stretchy grey fabric around my torso. Maya was exactly three weeks old, screaming...