So, Can Your Newborn Really Be Born With Teeth? (My Freakout)
The biggest, most universally accepted myth about giving birth is that you're going to be handed this perfect, squishy, entirely gummy little blob of a human. I fully believed this. I thought I had at least six solid months of...
The Cucumber Protocol: From Slippery Hazards to Teething Hacks
It's 6:15 AM in our Portland kitchen, and I'm staring at a cutting board with a digital caliper in my hand. My wife, Sarah, is pouring her coffee, watching me measure a wet green vegetable down to the millimeter. "It...
When Do Dogs Lose Their Baby Teeth? A Twin Dad's Survival Guide
I stepped on it barefoot at exactly six in the morning. It was sharp, cold, and entirely unyielding, which naturally led me to assume I had discovered yet another rogue piece of plastic from the twins' supposedly tidied toy box....
What I Wish I Knew Before Googling Dwarf Baby Tears
Dear Sarah of November 14th, currently sitting on the cold bathroom tile at 3:17 AM in yesterday's yogurt-stained Lululemon leggings. You have your phone in one hand and a screaming four-month-old Leo in the other, and you're desperately typing things...
Dear Past Me: The Messy Truth About Having a Lip Tie Baby
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting on the undersized, aggressively cheerful yellow chair in Dr. Vance’s pediatric dental waiting room. It’s a Tuesday. You're wearing those black leggings that have a hole near the left knee,...
Expectation vs Reality: Montessori Toys for Nine Month Old Twins
There I was, at 6:42 am on a Tuesday, trying to fish a soggy, half-dissolved piece of Amazon packaging out of Maya's mouth while her sister, Chloe, methodically used a £45 plastic, battery-powered farm animal as a blunt instrument to...
The Messy Reality of Children's Neckerchiefs
My mother-in-law stood in my Chicago kitchen last November holding a knitted wool scarf, insisting that if I didn't wrap my son's neck immediately, the draft would settle in his chest and give him pneumonia. Three hours later, a woman...