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baby safetyfatherhoodhumororganic cottonpregnancy tipssafe sleep
A dad looking confused at a pregnancy tracking app on his phone

The truth about baby bump timelines and why apps lie to you

I was standing in our kitchen holding a retractable Stanley tape measure against my wife's stomach, trying to log exactly how many centimeters her abdomen had grown since the previous Tuesday. She looked down at me like I was trying...

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baby boybaby namesfatherhoodhumorinfantparenting humour
Exhausted father staring at a baby name book while holding a cup of lukewarm tea.

The Absurd Quest for Baby Boy Names Unique Enough Not to Be Steve

My mother-in-law cornered me by the kettle at week twelve of the pregnancy to insist that strong, traditional English names like Arthur or George were the only guaranteed way to prevent a child from a life of petty criminality, while...

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90s nostalgiaearly developmenthumorlate nightscreen timetwin dad
A tired father holding a wooden play gym while a toddler stares at a smartphone screen

Uncle Baby Billy: How my toddler found HBO at 3am

It's precisely 3:14 in the morning, a time I'm intimately familiar with because it's the exact hour the ambient temperature in our London flat drops just enough to offend my twin daughters. Florence is currently wedged sideways across my chest,...

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humorparenting humourstresssurvivaltwin dad
A tired dad scrolling on his phone while twin girls play on the floor

Why The Uncle Richard Is My Baby Daddy Drama Actually Helps

It's 3:14 in the morning. One of the twins has inexplicably managed to lodge a rogue, rock-hard piece of toast behind the nursery radiator, and the other is performing a prolonged, operatic wail because our profoundly indifferent tabby cat looked...

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early developmentfatherhoodhumoroutdoorparenting tips
Confused dad looking at a fledgling bird in the grass while holding a baby

What to Do When Your Toddler Finds a Baby Bird in the Backyard

I'm currently crouched in the damp Portland mud, holding my 11-month-old by the back of his diaper like a defective briefcase, while we both stare at a violently vibrating clump of feathers in the grass. It looks like a moldy...

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HumorMilestonesMotherhoodOutdoorParenting GuideToys
Toddler doing the hands and feet crawl on a wooden floor next to toys

Dear Past Sarah: What I Wish I Knew About The Entire Bear Phase

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, slightly sticky linoleum of the downstairs bathroom, hiding from your own family. It’s, like, 9 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those gray sweatpants with the...

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90s nostalgiaBabybaby safetyfatherhoodhumorParenting Guide
A terrified dad clutching a coffee mug while watching a toddler attempt to climb a bookshelf.

Rewatching The 1994 Film Babys Day Out Broke My Parent Brain

I'm pausing the TV at exactly the 24-minute mark to go check the tensile strength of our front door's deadbolt. My wife is staring at the ceiling from the couch, audibly wondering why I can't just enjoy a movie like...

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bambi baby store inspired deer pattern organic blanket

The Bambi Baby Store Standard: Surviving the Gear Shopping Madness

"Sleep when the baby sleeps," my mother confidently announced over a lukewarm cup of tea, completely ignoring the fact that there were two babies and they were heavily invested in sleeping in opposing four-hour shifts. "You absolutely must keep them...

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early developmenteducational toyshumorMotherhoodorganic baby clothesParenting Guide
A mom holding a baby surrounded by soft wooden toys on a playmat

Dear Me: Put Down the Flashcards and Let Them Be a Baby Tiger

I'm standing barefoot on a rogue plastic dinosaur, staring at a laminated stack of mandarin flashcards I bought on the internet at two in the morning, while my three-year-old is using a half-eaten waffle to paint maple syrup across my...

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