How I Cured My Baby's Reflux in 7 Days Without Losing My Mind
"Put rice cereal in the bottle," my mom declared over FaceTime while I wiped sour-smelling milk off my glasses. "You just need cranial sacral therapy," the barista at my local Portland coffee shop whispered conspiratorially as she handed me my...
The Hydrogen Bomb vs Coughing Baby Meme: A Letter to Past Me
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing in the hallway at 3:14 AM holding a humidifier tank that's leaking all over your fuzzy slippers, crying because your little G baby, Georgia, sounds like a pack-a-day smoker, and you're...
The Midnight Mouse Panic and Why Crumb Control is Everything
It was 7:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was exactly where I always am at that time: on my hands and knees under the high chair, scraping a fossilized piece of sweet potato off the baseboard with a wet...
Panic vs reality: exactly when do babies start to talk anyway
I was sitting on the beige rug in my living room, aggressively holding a wooden block in front of my ten-month-old's face, enunciating the word block like I was teaching a hostage how to defuse a bomb. He just stared...
Why an innocent sip of water is your baby's worst enemy
It was August, the kind of oppressive, sticky London August where the pavement smells vaguely of roasted bins and the air in our second-floor flat had achieved the exact consistency of soup. The twins were four months old. They were...
What Is A Baby Booter? Decoding My Late Night Parenting Typos
I'm currently sitting on my living room rug matching tiny socks in the dark, trying desperately to keep my eyes open. Out here in the rural Texas hill country, 2 AM is incredibly quietβjust the hum of the AC, a...
Why a Proper Baby Bottle Brush Saved My Sanity (and Sleep)
Itβs 3:14 in the morning. Iβm standing in the pale, unforgiving glow of the microwave clock, holding a plastic cylinder that smells faintly of sour milk and utter despair. Upstairs in our cramped London flat, two identical two-year-old girls are...
The Mattress Myth and Other Midnight Lies About Baby Congestion
At 2:14 a.m., holding a screaming infant who sounded remarkably like a broken accordion, I made the fatal mistake of consulting the internet. A very cheerful parenting forum told me I should simply prop up one end of my daughter's...
The Honest Guide to Feeding Crustaceans to Your Infant
I was standing in my kitchen at ten in the morning on a random Tuesday, holding a twenty-dollar tin of pasteurized lump meat like it was a live grenade. The smell of cold brine was filling the room. My son...