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Tired dad examining a bamboo baby sleep sack in a dark nursery

The Midnight Madness of Baby MORI Sacks and Tog Ratings

It's 3:14 in the morning on a profoundly wet Tuesday in November, and I'm standing in the exact centre of our Victorian terrace's nursery holding a plastic egg that glows an angry, accusatory red. This egg is supposed to tell...

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A tired dad staring in disbelief at an NHS red baby book while twins crawl away

Normal Baby Weight at Birth: A Letter to My Terrified Past Self

Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo at a family barbecue, trying to field questions from your brother-in-law about what constitutes a normal baby weight. His wife is being induced on Tuesday, and you're...

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Stationary infant entertainer with toys in a London living room

Surviving Twins With The Skip Hop Baby Activity Center

My mother-in-law arrived on a rainy Tuesday bearing a gift she had unearthed from the darkest, most spider-infested corners of her loft: a wheeled infant walker from 1996. It was a faded neon monstrosity with the turning radius of a...

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A tired father staring blankly at a digital baby weighing scale on a table.

A Letter to Past Me: Stop Panicking About Normal Baby Weight

Dear Tom from two years ago, currently sweating through a grey marl t-shirt in Room 4 of the local NHS clinic. You're sitting in a plastic chair that's somehow both sticky and cold, balancing two identical infant car seats on...

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Tired dad looking confused at a premium baby clothing display

Why I Finally Understand the Upscale Baby Department Hype

I'm standing in the middle of a brightly lit American department store, holding a miniature cashmere cardigan that costs more than my first car, trying to calculate exactly how long it'll take a six-month-old to cover it in pureed carrots....

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London dad holding two toddlers while looking exhausted but vaguely hopeful.

The Kylie Jenner Baby Daddy Setup: A 3 AM Letter To Myself

You’re currently hiding in the downstairs loo, aren't you? It’s 3:14 AM, the bathroom tiles are freezing through your socks, and you’ve locked the door because the twins are finally asleep after a three-hour screaming match about who gets to...

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London dad looking exhausted while washing baby bottles at a kitchen sink

Why a Proper Baby Bottle Brush Saved My Sanity (and Sleep)

It’s 3:14 in the morning. I’m standing in the pale, unforgiving glow of the microwave clock, holding a plastic cylinder that smells faintly of sour milk and utter despair. Upstairs in our cramped London flat, two identical two-year-old girls are...

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London dad trying to fit a double pram into the boot of a compact blue SUV

Surviving the Baby Blue Bronco: A Parent's Guide to Tiny SUVs

Don't, under any circumstances, let a targeted social media algorithm convince you that buying a compact, retro-styled off-roader will somehow resurrect your pre-parenting coolness. I'm currently typing this with my kneecaps firmly wedged against the glovebox of what I can...

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Tired London dad holding two crying twin girls in a dark kitchen

Welcome to the Baby Baby Baby Echo Chamber of Twin Parenting

I was standing in our galley kitchen at 4:13 in the morning, holding an electric kettle that I hadn't bothered to plug in, staring blankly at the wall while a rhythmic, pulsing chant echoed from the monitor clipped to my...

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