The Megan Walerius Baby Drama and What I Wish I Knew Months Ago
Hey man. Youβre currently sitting on the bathroom tiles at 3:14 AM, scrolling Twitter while the shower steam theoretically clears up your five-month-old's congestion. I know this because I'm you, six months in the future. The kid is eleven months...
Surviving The Absolute Chaos Of The First Year With My Baby
3:14 AM. I'm holding a phone torch in my teeth because the main bulb in the nursery just popped with the sound of a small gunshot, and I'm currently elbow-deep in what can only be described as a biological incident....
Why I Hosed Down Our Newton Baby Crib Mattress at 2 AM
It was 3:14 AM. The infrared glow of the Nanit monitor showed a gray, pixelated blob that used to be my daughter, but now she was completely face-down. Smashed directly into the mattress fibers. I watched the screen, waiting for...
The reality of bringing your preemie baby home from the NICU
The hospital sliding doors open and the winter wind hits your face. You're holding a plastic bucket seat containing a human the size of a standard bag of flour. They told you the discharge paperwork was clear and you could...
A Safe, Messy Roasted Baby Carrots Recipe for Weaning
I'm currently staring at a smear of pureed orange sludge slowly sliding down my left kitchen cabinet, wondering at what point in my life I became a person who actively scrubs root vegetables off the walls. It's 5:30 PM on...
Finding the Calm in the Chaos with a Sweet Baby James Lullaby
I was standing in my oldest son's nursery at 3:14 in the morning, wearing a nursing tank top that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, violently swaying back and forth. Three weeks prior, at my beautifully curated baby shower,...
Debugging The Silhouette: Why My Kid Wears Baby Doll Tops
3:14 AM. I'm holding a piece of fabric that looks like a miniature maternity dress, trying to calculate the best trajectory for pulling it over my 11-month-oldβs wildly thrashing head. It has a seam that stops abruptly right under the...
Surviving the baby dinosaur phase without losing your mind
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to correct a two-year-old on the precise anatomical posture of a Stegosaurus. I learned this at 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, standing in my kitchen holding a lukewarm mug of tea while Twin One shrieked...
How I Survived the Absolute Chaos of Infant Blowouts and Runny Poop
I'm standing in the cramped, overly bright bathroom of a Buc-ee's somewhere off I-35, staring at my oldest son who's currently painted from waist to shoulder blades in what looks like radioactive mustard. He's screaming his lungs out. I'm actively...