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Letter to Past Marcus: The Patch Notes on RSV Vaccine Babies
I'm sitting here in the dark watching the Govee hygrometer on the nursery dresser tick from 48% to 49% humidity, listening to the rhythmic, slightly squeaky breathing of our eleven-month-old. The Portland rain is currently hammering against the window with...
Why The Simone Biles Baby Rumors Make Me Rethink Family Boundaries
My mother-in-law was hovering a forkful of heavily buttered mashed potatoes in mid-air when she casually asked if we had started trying for "the sequel" yet, which is a genuinely wild thing to ask someone who hasn't slept for a...
The yellow baby panic and other postpartum surprises
Three in the morning. The cheap humidifier is humming in the corner, throwing a weird blue light across the bassinet. I'm staring at my newborn son's face, trying to figure out if the bulb is casting strange shadows or if...
The Tush Baby Survival Guide: Why I Wear a Tactical Hip Shelf
We were somewhere near the dinosaur skeletons at the Natural History Museum when my left bicep finally went on strike. Maya had decided the floor was lava, Chloe had decided the pram was a medieval torture device, and I was...
The Absolute Messy Truth About Finding Unique Baby Names in 2024
I was thirty-two weeks pregnant, sitting at the nurse station at Northwestern Memorial, staring blankly at a patient chart. The poor kid had a name with five consecutive consonants and a silent q. My shift was ending, my ankles looked...
The Brutally Honest Truth About Buying an UPPAbaby Stroller
My husband was holding an iced coffee that was dripping condensation all over a display of breast pumps, staring at the price tag like it had just insulted his ancestors. We were standing in the middle of Buy Buy BabyβRIP...
Wait, Is Whatever Happened to Baby Jane a New Organic Brand?
It was 11:43 PM on a Thursday. I was wearing Daveβs raggedy college sweatpants with a deeply questionable yogurt stain on the left knee, balancing a lukewarm cup of decaf coffee on my chestβwhy do I even bother with decaf,...
The Toddler Nepo Baby: Surviving Sandpit Privilege
"Get them into St. Jude's nursery now by calling your Aunt Susan," my mother-in-law hissed over a lukewarm cup of Earl Grey last Tuesday, as if we were discussing a covert military op rather than a place where kids eat...
when can u find out babys gender (and the bathroom floor incident)
I was sitting on the cold hexagonal tiles of our half-bathroom at exactly 8:14 PM on a Tuesday, wearing Daveβs stained college sweatpants, aggressively squeezing my own index finger while trying not to pass out. There was blood on the...