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Comparing human twin growth to the staggering reality of baby elephant weight

Twins and the absurd reality of baby elephant weight

In the suffocatingly warm waiting room of our local NHS clinic, whilst desperately trying to balance a screaming twin on each knee, I received three entirely contradictory pieces of advice about infant growth within a single ten-minute span. Our health...

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Dad sitting on a rug with twin baby girls playing with wooden sensory toys

Spotting Cerebral Palsy in Babies: A Twin Dad’s Messy Story

It was a bleak Tuesday in November, raining with that specific London spitefulness, and I was lying on the living room rug surrounded by the debris of early parenthood. At six months old, my twin girls were engaged in entirely...

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A deeply tired dad holding a swaddled newborn while staring blankly at a smartphone.

The "Call Me Baby" Era: TikTok Trends vs Actual Newborn Survival

It was 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, and I was sitting on our violently stained nursing chair trying to remember if I had already burped Twin A, or if the loud noise I just heard came from my own...

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Tired dad tangled in a long fabric baby sling carrier

Surviving the Baby Sling Carrier When You Have Zero Coordination

I was standing in the kitchen at two in the afternoon, wearing yesterday's t-shirt and draped in five meters of stretchy jersey fabric, looking less like a modern father and more like a deeply depressed Roman senator. Twin A was...

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Tired dad examining a bamboo baby sleep sack in a dark nursery

The Midnight Madness of Baby MORI Sacks and Tog Ratings

It's 3:14 in the morning on a profoundly wet Tuesday in November, and I'm standing in the exact centre of our Victorian terrace's nursery holding a plastic egg that glows an angry, accusatory red. This egg is supposed to tell...

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A tired dad staring in disbelief at an NHS red baby book while twins crawl away

Normal Baby Weight at Birth: A Letter to My Terrified Past Self

Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo at a family barbecue, trying to field questions from your brother-in-law about what constitutes a normal baby weight. His wife is being induced on Tuesday, and you're...

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Stationary infant entertainer with toys in a London living room

Surviving Twins With The Skip Hop Baby Activity Center

My mother-in-law arrived on a rainy Tuesday bearing a gift she had unearthed from the darkest, most spider-infested corners of her loft: a wheeled infant walker from 1996. It was a faded neon monstrosity with the turning radius of a...

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A tired father staring blankly at a digital baby weighing scale on a table.

A Letter to Past Me: Stop Panicking About Normal Baby Weight

Dear Tom from two years ago, currently sweating through a grey marl t-shirt in Room 4 of the local NHS clinic. You're sitting in a plastic chair that's somehow both sticky and cold, balancing two identical infant car seats on...

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Tired dad looking confused at a premium baby clothing display

Why I Finally Understand the Upscale Baby Department Hype

I'm standing in the middle of a brightly lit American department store, holding a miniature cashmere cardigan that costs more than my first car, trying to calculate exactly how long it'll take a six-month-old to cover it in pureed carrots....

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