Surviving The Cast of Million Dollar Baby & Nursery Furniture
You're currently sitting on the floor of what used to be Dave's home office, wearing those gray maternity leggings with the yogurt stain on the left knee, crying into a lukewarm mug of decaf coffee. It's like, 11:45 PM on...
The "Call Me Baby" Era: TikTok Trends vs Actual Newborn Survival
It was 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, and I was sitting on our violently stained nursing chair trying to remember if I had already burped Twin A, or if the loud noise I just heard came from my own...
The messy reality of bringing up baby on zero sleep
I spent six years working the pediatric floor at Rush, so you'd think buckling my own three-day-old son into his car seat would feel routine. It didn't. My husband was driving twenty miles an hour on the Kennedy expressway, knuckles...
My Unhinged, Exhausting Search For The Best Glass Baby Bottles
I was standing in my kitchen at 3:14 AM wearing my husband Danβs college sweatpants that had a questionable mustard stain on the knee, holding a supposedly pristine, top-of-the-line glass bottle while Maya screamed in the other room. I was...
The Sweaty, Messy, Magical Reality of the Kangaroo Baby Phase
It was 3:14 in the morning, and the hospital room smelled strongly of bleach, stale hazelnut coffee, and my own big postpartum terror. I was wearing mesh underwear and a hospital gown that was entirely unsnapped in the front because,...
The Absurd Truth About Searching For Lil Baby Albums Online
"Play Mozart or he'll fail third-grade math," my mother-in-law practically whispered into my ear at my baby shower, aggressively shoving a CD into my hands. Yes, an actual, physical compact disc in a jewel case. Who even owns a CD...
Is the Newton Baby Crib Mattress Really Worth Three Hundred Bucks?
My mom told me to put my firstborn on his stomach with a heavy quilt "so he feels secure like he's still in the womb." The lactation consultant at the hospital swore he needed to sleep on my bare chest...
Vicks Baby Rub: Surviving 3 AM Coughs Without Poisoning Them
It's precisely 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my London flat currently sounds like a seal sanctuary that has been taken over by aggressive chain-smokers. Twin A has just unleashed a barking cough that rattled the windowpanes, which immediately triggered...
The UK Cheerleader Baby Story Is Our Biggest Motherhood Nightmare
Let's just obliterate the biggest, most dangerous lie the hospital discharge nurses hand you right along with those giant mesh underwear. The absolute biggest myth of motherhood is that your "maternal instinct" is some kind of magical, invisible force field...