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Is Your Baby Constipated? The Great 3 AM London Nappy Standoff
It was 4:14 AM on a Tuesday when Florence began her impression of an Olympic weightlifter attempting a personal best. Her face turned a shade of crimson I previously thought was reserved for London buses, her tiny knees pulled up...
Midnight fridge audits and the great baby carrots recall panic
It was exactly 11:42 PM on a Tuesday when I found myself knee-deep in the bottom drawer of the fridge, clutching a flashlight between my teeth like a cat burglar who specialises exclusively in stealing root vegetables. The twins were...
Surviving the 2024 Baby Carrots Recall in a Jetlagged Haze
We were three days into a Thanksgiving visit to my wife's parents in Massachusetts, and I had just spent twenty minutes wrestling the rental baby car seat into my father-in-law's astronomically large SUV, when my mother-in-law burst through the front...
How We Survived Baby Blues Luncheonette With An 11-Month-Old
We're standing on an uneven patch of Brooklyn concrete at 10:34 AM, and I'm sweating through my flannel shirt while trying to pretend I belong here. Inside the massive glass window, a guy in a vintage beanie is slowly, methodically...
Yellowstone Panic, Iron Deficiencies, And Cooking A Baby Bison
I'm sweating entirely through my gray t-shirt. The ergonomic carrier is digging a trench into my left shoulder blade. My 11-month-old son is happily attempting to rip my nose off my face, completely oblivious to the threat matrix unfolding exactly...
A father's guide to a little baby's ice cream introduction
Dear Marcus from six months ago. It's me, future Marcus. You're currently sitting on the porch of our Portland rental, it's 95 degrees in August, and you're holding a dripping scoop of Salt & Straw honey lavender. The five-month-old is...
The Real Deal on Feeding Your Baby Spinach Without the Tears
My mom told me to boil it on the stove until it completely surrendered and turned into a gray mush. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, swore up and down that applying any heat at all destroys the vitamins and I...
The Fat Chinese Baby Meme Completely Changed How I Feed My Kids
It was 2:14 AM, and I was sitting in the nursery glider that aggressively squeaks every time I lean even a fraction of an inch to the left. My youngest, Beau, was half-asleep on my chest, and I was deep...
The Michelin Star Delusion: Surviving the Home Baby Bistro Era
I'm currently staring at a bright orange smear on my kitchen ceiling that has been there for three consecutive days. Apparently, an 11-month-old baby can generate enough torque in his right arm to launch a silicone spoonful of artisanal sweet...