A late night letter to myself about the baby gap discount code
Dear Priya from last November. You're sitting in the dark. The baby is finally down after three false starts. Your phone screen is blinding you because you forgot to turn on night mode. You're staring at a cart containing fourteen...
My brutally honest guide to your baby store near me search
I was thirty-seven weeks pregnant, sweating profusely through a thin maternity top in a strip mall off the Kennedy Expressway. I had just desperately typed a search for the closest local baby shop into my phone, completely convinced that walking...
The Data-Driven Dadβs Guide to Using an Online Kids Boutique
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in aisle 14 of a massive big-box store under fluorescent lights that made my corneas throb. My wife, Sarah, was holding a pair of baby jeans the size of...
Dear Past Me: The Real Truth About That Local Baby Boutique
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. I'm writing this to you because I know exactly where you're standing right now. You're in the middle of the fluorescent-lit hellscape of a massive big-box store's baby section, and you're sweating profusely...
Dear Past Sarah: The Local Kids Store Is A Complete Trap
It's Tuesday, 10:45 AM, and you're currently sweating through your favorite grey Madewell tee while standing in the middle of that aggressively aesthetic boutique downtown. Your four-year-old, Leo, is lying starfish-style on the polished concrete floor, screaming something that sounds...
I Survived the Buybuy Baby Relaunch (And My Wife's Registry List)
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda Civic last Tuesday, blinking stupidly at a massive blue and white sign in a New Jersey strip mall, completely convinced I had slipped into an alternate timeline. My wife, Sarah,...
System Failure: Searching for Baby Clothes Near Me in Portland
The sound was suspiciously similar to a ketchup bottle emptying its final contents, but we were miles from a diner and my eleven-month-old daughter was entirely too pleased with herself. We were at Mt. Tabor park, I was trying to...
The Truth About Baby Shoes: A Letter To My Clueless Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the clearance aisle at Nordstrom Rack at like, 2:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing those black leggings with the dried yogurt stain on the left knee, aggressively holding a...
Why Fribourg Baby Stores Completely Ruined American Shopping For Me
We're standing on the freezing cobblestones outside the train station in the Canton of Fribourg, the airline has lost all three of our checked bags, and my 11-month-old is wearing a spit-up stained pajama top that smells heavily of expired...