Why Baby Boy Rompers Are The Only Outfit You Actually Need
I'm standing over the changing table at what feels like three in the morning, trying to thread a miniature leather belt through the belt loops of three-month-old corduroy pants. He is doing the alligator death roll. There's a very specific...
Building A Bulletproof Baby Depot For Surviving The Newborn Chaos
It was three in the morning in the dead of a Chicago winter when I finally lost my mind. I was standing in my living room holding a screaming infant, staring at a corner of the house that looked like...
Losing My Mind Inside Infant Stores (And What You Actually Need)
My mother-in-law cornered me at my own baby shower, pointed at my seven-month belly, and told me I needed to buy absolutely everything brand new or the baby would contract some kind of Victorian wasting disease. Twenty minutes later, my...
Dear Jess: Stop buying the velvet holiday dresses for your baby
It's currently July, you're sweating completely through your maternity shorts in the hundred-degree Texas heat, and for some ungodly reason, you're scrolling the internet looking at a stiff, synthetic red velvet monstrosity with eighty-two sequins on it. I need you...
The Truth About Fall Baby Clothes (And What Actually Works)
The biggest lie the internet ever told us about fall is that your infant needs to look like a miniature adult lumberjack. I'm just gonna be real with you, the idea of stuffing a four-month-old into a tiny, stiff denim...
Dear Past Priya: The Clinical Reality of Baby Clothes Shopping
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently standing in the glow of a cracked iPhone screen at 3:14 AM. You're holding a newborn who just produced a blowout that somehow breached the known laws of physics, and you're staring...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Actually Useful New Baby Gifts
I'm staring at a pair of infant converse sneakers. They're the size of a jalapeΓ±o. They have actual, functional laces. Someone spent real money on these at a baby shower last weekend, and I know exactly where they're going to...
Why Thick Baby PJs Are Ruining Your Sleep (And What Actually Works)
It was 2:14 AM and I was standing in the hallway wearing those gray Target sweatpants with the bleach stain on the thigh, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved so many times it tasted like warm pennies....
The No-Nonsense Guide to Buying Secondhand Baby Stuff Safely
I was standing in a humid church gymnasium at 7 AM on a Saturday, seven months pregnant with my oldest son, fighting a woman in a denim jumper for a plastic bouncy seat that smelled faintly of sour milk. I...