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babyboundariesfamily carefourth trimesternewbornparenting humour
Overwhelmed dad holding newborn away from reaching hands in living room

Surviving the "Don't You Want Me Baby" Guilt Trip From Relatives

We were sitting in our Portland living room on exactly Day 12 of parenthood when the first breach of our perimeter occurred. My wife Sarah was exhausted, practically vibrating with postpartum adrenaline, and our daughter was finally asleep on her...

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A messy pile of open baby registry boxes and half-empty coffee cups

How to Find Free Baby Samples Without Losing Your Damn Mind

I was sitting on my living room couch at 2:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's gym shorts that I had stretched to their absolute physical limit over my seven-month pregnant belly, staring at my phone as my inbox counter...

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baby showereco-friendlygiftingmotherhoodnewbornsurvival
A woman holding a pen over a blank baby shower card next to a gift

What to write in a baby shower card without losing your mind

I'm sitting in the passenger seat of our sedan, balancing a small square envelope on the dashboard while my husband dodges Chicago potholes. We're twenty minutes late to my cousin's baby shower. The pen I dug out of the glovebox...

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A messy nursery floor with empty cardboard boxes and a wooden play gym

The Real Truth About People Actually Finding Your Baby Registry

I was sitting in a literal pile of bright pink cardboard boxes on my living room floor, four days after my first baby shower, ugly-crying into a burp cloth because not a single person bought the organic crib sheets I...

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A stressed dad looking at his phone while a newborn sleeps in a crib

Debugging a Midnight Panic: The Harlequin Baby Mix-Up Explained

Don't, under any circumstances, type the phrase "harlequin baby" into your phone at 3:14 AM while your infant is sleeping on their side. Just trust me on this one. I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair, running on maybe...

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A pile of organic baby clothes next to a simple bottle of clear laundry detergent.

The Big Baby Detergent Scam (And How I Actually Do Laundry)

I was standing in my laundry room at 3 AM in a pair of sour-milk-stained sweatpants, holding a twenty-four-dollar jug of baby detergent and straight-up sobbing. My oldest, Beau, was upstairs covered in angry red hives, and my mom was...

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baby clothesbudgetcloth diaperingnewbornorganic cottonparenting tips
A basket of newborn clothes sitting next to an unmarked bottle of laundry detergent

Dear Jess: The Unfiltered Truth About Buying Baby Detergent

Dear Jess from six months ago, I see you standing there in aisle 14 of the H-E-B in Corsicana, completely frozen. You've got your two-year-old hanging off the front of the shopping cart trying to eat a bruised banana, your...

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babywearingfourth trimesterinfant carenatural fibersnewbornparenting humour
Exhausted mom drinking coffee while wearing a newborn in a stretchy fabric sling

My worst newborn day and how a baby carrier wrap saved my sanity

It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in late November, and I was wearing maternity leggings with an unidentified, crusty white stain on the left thigh. Leo was four weeks old and currently doing that purple-faced, breathless scream that makes...

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baby behaviorcommunicationfatherhoodfourth trimesternewbornsurvival
A tired dad looking at his swaddled newborn baby making a strange face.

What's That Supposed to Be About Baby? Decoding Newborn Quirks

I was holding my iPhone flashlight over my daughter's bassinet at 3:14 AM, trying to see if her tongue was vibrating. She was making this rapid-fire clicking sound that sounded exactly like a dying hard drive. I had my other...

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