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Exhausted dad holding two crying babies in a dimly lit nursery

How I Survived the Relentless Baby Crying Sound With Twin Girls

It was a Tuesday in mid-November, roughly 5:14 PM, when the air pressure in our London flat simply ceased to exist. I was holding a half-empty bottle of formula in one hand and a rogue, suspiciously damp sock in the...

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A stressed British dad holding twin toddler girls outside a busy baby daycare centre in London.

Surviving Baby Daycare: What I Believed vs What Actually Happened

I'm currently sitting in a 2014 Skoda Estate, engine off, staring blankly at a laminated sign that reads "Little Acorns" through a windscreen smeared with what I sincerely hope is just mashed banana. My twin daughters, Isla and Freya, are...

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A sleep-deprived dad looking at his phone while holding a toddler

The 3 AM Search For A Baby Doll Batman Sent Me Down A Weird Rabbit ...

It's 3:14 AM, and the amber glow of my phone screen is the only light in a room that currently smells heavily of Calpol and desperation. Maya (Twin A, currently operating with the feral energy of a raccoon trapped in...

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London dad trying to fit a double pram into the boot of a compact blue SUV

Surviving the Baby Blue Bronco: A Parent's Guide to Tiny SUVs

Don't, under any circumstances, let a targeted social media algorithm convince you that buying a compact, retro-styled off-roader will somehow resurrect your pre-parenting coolness. I'm currently typing this with my kneecaps firmly wedged against the glovebox of what I can...

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A tired dad staring at a tiny baby bat safely trapped under a plastic tub

Finding a baby bat in your house and other midnight terrors

My mate Dave from the pub told me the best way to handle the situation was with a pint glass and a beer mat, as if I were dealing with a slightly aggressive bluebottle in a beer garden. My mother-in-law,...

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Tired London dad holding two crying twin girls in a dark kitchen

Welcome to the Baby Baby Baby Echo Chamber of Twin Parenting

I was standing in our galley kitchen at 4:13 in the morning, holding an electric kettle that I hadn't bothered to plug in, staring blankly at the wall while a rhythmic, pulsing chant echoed from the monitor clipped to my...

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A tired dad sitting on the stairs while his twin toddlers cause chaos in the living room

Why the all on me lil baby track hits different as a London dad

It was 2:14 PM on a grim, relentlessly drizzly Tuesday in London, and I was on my hands and knees scraping something that I desperately hoped was mashed avocado off the skirting board. Twin A (Florence) was howling on the...

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Exhausted dad looking at twin toddlers who are currently chewing on the coffee table.

How to Survive the Feral Baby Hyena Phase of Human Toddlerhood

It happened at exactly 3:14 on a Tuesday morning. I was attempting the treacherous transfer from shoulder to cotβ€”a maneuver that requires the stealth of a ninja and the steady hands of a bomb disposal expertβ€”when Florence woke up. She...

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A wooden baby memory container sitting open on an untidy living room rug.

Confessions: Why a Plastic Bag is a Terrible Baby Keepsake Box

I'm currently sitting cross-legged on a heavily stained rug at two in the morning, holding a small, crinkled ziplock bag that looks suspiciously like evidence from a low-budget crime scene. Inside is a tiny, pale wisp of hair. I know,...

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