Debugging the Absolute Chaos of Modern Boy Baby Shower Themes
I was on row 47 of my Google Sheet, cross-referencing the hex codes of compostable napkins with three different artisanal bakery delivery zones, when my wife gently closed my laptop. It was a Saturday afternoon, roughly two months before our...
The 2 AM Meltdown Over A Toddler Shark Birthday Cake
Blue gel food coloring doesn't wash off human skin. It bonds to your cuticles on a cellular level and stays there for a week. I learned this at two in the morning on a Thursday, staring down a very deformed,...
Dear past me: surviving the botanical shower and the infant year
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the living room in Wicker Park, staring at a stack of expensive cardstock. You decided to throw a baby in bloom baby shower because it looked nice...
Honest Girl Baby Shower Themes That Will Not Make You Cringe
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by three different shades of sage green cardstock while scrolling through baby shower themes, trying to figure out how to force fifty people to celebrate...
Debugging the Pinterest Algorithm: Our Boy Baby Shower Theme Saga
It was 10:42 PM on a Tuesday when the algorithm finally broke me. My wife, Sarah, was asleep on my shoulder, but her phone was still unlocked in her hand, illuminating the dark bedroom with an endless, scrolling matrix of...
The Day I Realized Baby's Breath Was Actually Ruining My Nursery
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, sweating completely through a maternity tank top in late August, staring at a giant wire hoop covered in dried white flowers that my mother had just proudly hung directly over the crib. It was supposed...
Surviving the Logistics of Boy Baby Shower Invites
It was 11 PM on a Tuesday. I had a Google Sheet open with column headers for "Paper Weight (GSM)" and "Postage Cost Variance." My wife, Sarah, who was seven months pregnant at the time, walked into the kitchen holding...
Winnie the Pooh Baby Shower Invitations & The Great Gifting Trap
Iβm standing in the loft, waist-deep in cardboard boxes smelling faintly of damp and nostalgia, holding the very piece of card that started it all. Itβs a muted sage green square featuring a rather tubby pencil-sketched bear and a honey...
Why adopting a rabbit baby is a truly terrible idea for your home
My mate Marcus texted me at half-past eleven on a Tuesday night, which is universally acknowledged as the hour when parents of toddlers make their absolute worst life decisions. "Mate," the message read, glowing aggressively in the dark while I...