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Debugging The Maternity Baby Shower Dress Meltdown In Real Time
Exactly forty-five minutes before our backyard celebration was supposed to start, I found my wife stress-crying in our Portland bathroom with a humidity sensor from my server rack sitting on the counter. She was 31 weeks pregnant, and the highly-rated,...
Finding a maternity dress for baby shower events without losing you...
I'm trapped in a zippered velvet prison. It's mid-July in Chicago, I'm thirty-three weeks pregnant, and the zipper on this supposed dream dress is stuck right over my left rib, which my daughter currently uses as a kicking bag. The...
What to Look for in a Baby Shower Guest Dress (Without Losing Your ...
Dear Jess of six months ago, currently standing in front of your open closet, sweating into a stained Target graphic tee while trying to figure out what the heck "garden casual" means. I see you, I'm you, and I need...
Finding A Baby Shower Dress That Actually Fits (Without The Tears)
Dear Sarah from six months agoβwait, no. Maya is four now. So, dear Sarah from four years and six months ago. Whatever. Time is a completely meaningless construct anyway when you haven't had a full night of uninterrupted sleep since...
How to Pick a Pink Baby Shower Dress Without Losing Your Mind
I was standing in the middle of a Texas roadhouse bathroom in July, six and a half months pregnant with my oldest, trying to peel a blush-pink polyester maxi dress off my damp skin so I could pee for the...
The Sweaty Reality of Finding a Pink Baby Shower Dress
It was 2:15 PM on a Tuesday in late July, and I was standing in the dressing room of a maternity boutique that smelled aggressively like fake lavender, trying to pry a magenta wrap dress off my sweaty, thirty-two-week pregnant...
The Ultimate Blue Baby Shower Dress Survival Guide for Dads
I was standing in our shoebox-sized London bedroom, knee-deep in crinkled ASOS packaging, watching my heavily pregnant wife attempt to extract herself from what can only be described as a sapphire-coloured sausage casing. She was breathing heavily, one arm pinned...
The Sachin Babi Dress Red Tag Incident & Occasionwear Survival
My wife Sarah was standing in the middle of our disaster-zone living room, holding a pair of kitchen shears perilously close to a massive, glaringly obvious red security tag, while Florence (twin A, the escape artist) was actively attempting to...
The Truth About Wearing That Baby Blue Dress
When I was pregnant with Leo, my mother-in-law cornered me in a Target parking lot to inform me that wearing pale blue to my own baby shower would make me look "clinically exhausted." Two hours later, my wedding photographer friend...