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The Double Panic of Baby Sitting Milestones and Caregivers
I was standing in the Target checkout line holding a massive iced coffeeβthe kind that's mostly whole milk and regret, honestlyβwhen my mother-in-law texted me out of nowhere. She said I absolutely needed to prop four-month-old Leo up with couch...
The Messy, Honest Truth About Baby Sleep Training Before & After
It's exactly 3:14 in the morning. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the microwave are burning into my retinas while I stand in the kitchen, wearing my husband Dave's oversized college track shirt that smells vaguely of...
Surviving Twins: Why We Chose Baby Snoopy Over The Baby Snoo
I was standing in a damp Oxfam shop on Mare Street, aggressively wiping a half-masticated rice cake off my coat lapel, when I locked eyes with him. It was a slightly faded, ridiculously soft plush beagle from 1996. One of...
What a Freezing Park Day Taught Me About Parenting Like a Wild Cat
It was 14 degrees in late January. Maya was maybe four months old, strapped to my chest in one of those trendy animal-print carriers that I paid way too much for because Instagram told me to. I had three layers...
Dear Past Me: The Baby Sonic Toothbrush Wars Will Break You
Dear Tom of six months ago, It's currently Tuesday evening, and you're sitting on the cold, damp tiles of the family bathroom. You have a standard-issue manual infant toothbrush clutched in your sweating right hand, while your twin daughters have...
Why giving your toddler a baby stanley is a pediatric nightmare
Tuesday morning. My fourteen-month-old has both hands wrapped around the base of my forty-ounce metal tumbler, trying to deadlift it off the coffee table. He is vibrating with effort. The cup outweighs his head. He manages to tilt it just...
The Truth About Controlling Your Baby's First Steps
I'm hunched over at a ninety-degree angle, my lower back screaming, holding Maya's tiny hands straight up in the air like she's a miniature hostage. It's, like, a Tuesday at 9 AM, I'm on my third cup of lukewarm coffee,...
Debugging The Infant Travel System Compatibility Matrix
It's currently forty-two degrees and raining sideways in the parking lot of a Portland Target, and I'm aggressively jiggling a piece of molded plastic while my eleven-month-old son screams as if I've deeply betrayed him. I'm trying to attach his...
Finding the Right Medical Baby Synonym: A Parent's Guide to Stages
It was a Tuesday at 8 PM, which is basically the witching hour in the fluorescent-lit aisles of Target, and I was holding a fleece sleep sack with little grey clouds on it while silently crying into my half-empty iced...