A Dad's Panic Over iPad Search Histories and the Tar Baby Meaning
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the cold brew. Stop hyperventilating over the iPad browser history. Your nine-year-old niece who's crashing at your house for the weekend isn't a secret 19th-century racist, and your 11-month-old son (who currently...
The absolute truth about those sweet baby inc games you heard about
Tuesday night is usually reserved for mindless scrolling and pretending I'm going to fold the laundry. Instead, my phone buzzed with a WhatsApp forward from a local parent group. The message was entirely in caps, warning us to protect our...
Dear Me: Why "Sweet Baby Inc Detected" Isn't A Recall
You're currently sitting on the freezing hexagonal tiles of your downstairs half-bath at 2:14 AM. The house is completely silent except for the low, rhythmic sound of Dave snoring through the baby monitor and the hum of the refrigerator. You're...
When The Baby Little Nightmares 3 Trend Ruins Your Sleep
Don't let your sixteen-year-old cousin plug his console into the main living room television. That's the first rule of holiday gatherings, and I learned it the hard way. I had just finished my shift at the clinic, picked up my...
What The Nepo Baby Trend Actually Means For Your Everyday Toddler
I was peeling the skin off a single green grape for my toddler when my sister-in-law texted me a screenshot of a celebrity magazine cover. My phone lit up on the kitchen counter while I carefully sliced the fruit into...
When You Google 'Sorry Baby' Showtimes Looking for Toddler Entertai...
It was 6:43 PM on a Tuesday, which in this house we affectionately refer to as the witching hour, and my oldest had just colored the dogβs tail with a blue Sharpie. I was elbows-deep in a sink full of...
The reality of raising millennial Shrek babies in a modern world
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last week to tell me that if I let my toddler watch animated ogres, he'll develop aggressive tendencies and start throwing onions at the dog. Ten minutes later, my millennial best friend texted...
Why The Scorsese Baby Daddy Trend Is An Actual Parenting Trap
I was sitting on the aggressively beige tile floor of a suburban Target bathroom in 2016, wearing Lululemon leggings that definitely had a crusty salsa stain on the left thigh, staring at a plastic stick I had just peed on....
When Your Kid Starts Singing Rich Baby Daddy Lyrics
If you want to know how to handle a four-year-old screaming the rich baby daddy lyrics at the very top of his lungs in the middle of Trader Joe's, I've three distinctly different pieces of advice for you. My mother...