Magazine

Exhausted mom rubbing camphor-free ointment on a baby's chest before sleep.

The Midnight Panic Search for Chest Rubs When Your Baby is Sick

There I was at two in the morning, holding a six-month-old who sounded like a broken coffee percolator, aggressively jabbing at my phone screen with one free thumb because the toddler had just sneezed directly into the baby's open mouth...

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Two toddlers in organic cotton staring at a distant marine mammal on a grey beach

That time we met a stranded sea sausage on the Norfolk beach

We were halfway across a devastatingly windy, aggressively grey stretch of the Norfolk coastline when one of the twins pointed a sandy, half-eaten breadstick at what appeared to be an abandoned sleeping bag. It was a bleak Tuesday in October,...

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Infant looking at wooden play gym toys on a soft patterned playmat.

The Truth About Those Hypnotic Dancing Fruit Videos

The steam from the shower was fogging up my phone screen, but I could still hear the upbeat, slightly manic techno music bouncing off the bathroom tile. My oldest, Tyler, was strapped into his bouncer chair next to the toilet,...

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Exhausted dad holding television remote while twins play on the floor

Surviving the Neon Chaos of Baby Shark's Big Show with Twins

"Don't let them watch it, it completely ruins their developing attention span," said Sarah from our NCT group, sipping a decaf flat white while her only child quietly consumed an artisanal lentil. "Just put it on, mate, it's the only...

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Stressed mom holding a coffee cup staring at her closet full of dresses

Surviving the Dress Code: A Messy Guide to Baby Shower Guest Outfits

When my cousin got pregnant last spring, I texted three different people asking what the hell I was supposed to wear to her backyard celebration, and the responses were honestly useless. My mother-in-law told me I needed a pastel sheath...

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A stressed dad looking at a laptop screen filled with baby shower invite designs

The absolute chaos of deploying a modern baby shower invite

I'm staring at a Google Sheet with 64 rows of mailing addresses, and my brain is completely buffering. My wife, Sarah, is sitting next to me on the couch, asking if we should upgrade to the 120-pound matte cardstock or...

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A tired dad holding a pen over a blank baby shower card next to a laptop.

Debugging Baby Shower Messages: A Clueless Dad's Before and After

It's 11:14 PM, the nursery thermostat is locked exactly at 69.5 degrees because my wife insists that's the good sleep environment, and I'm staring at a blank piece of cardstock. The baby monitor on my desk looks like a paranormal...

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Confused dad looking at a smartphone while holding a tiny baby sock.

Dear Past Marcus: Please Stop Overcomplicating the Baby Registry

You're currently sweating through your vintage Timbers hoodie, keeping nineteen browser tabs open, hovering your cursor over an "Add to Cart" button for a Bluetooth-enabled diaper pail. I need you to step away from the keyboard. It's me. Future Marcus....

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A bewildered grandparent holding a modern baby item while a tired dad looks on

The Baby Boomers Age Range: Why Grandparents Think We're Neurotic

"Put a spot of whiskey on their gums," my father-in-law suggested casually, sipping his tea while watching Twin A attempt to violently gnaw her way through our oak coffee table. Later that same Tuesday, my mother informed me via text...

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