Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Play Area for My Kids
It was a Tuesday morning in late 2017, and I was wearing a pair of black yoga pants that had a highly questionable smear of sweet potato puree on the left thigh. Maya was seven months old, which meant she...
The Great Puree Panic: Confessions From A Splattered Kitchen
There's currently a perfectly symmetrical, brilliantly orange splatter of sweet potato puree cooling on my left eyelid. It's Sunday at four in the afternoon, the sky over London has already surrendered to that bleak, bruised-plum colour of mid-winter, and I'm...
The Absolute Messy Truth About Finding Unique Baby Names in 2024
I was thirty-two weeks pregnant, sitting at the nurse station at Northwestern Memorial, staring blankly at a patient chart. The poor kid had a name with five consecutive consonants and a silent q. My shift was ending, my ankles looked...
Why We Traded Stuffy Showers for the Modern Co-Ed Baby Bash
I'm sitting on a pastel-pink velvet chair in a suburban banquet hall watching my cousin unwrap her nineteenth burp cloth. Someone is measuring her waist with toilet paper while a group of aunts I haven't seen since my wedding stare...
Dear Past Sarah: The Ugly Truth About Glass Baby Bottles
Dear Past Sarah. Yes, you. The one sitting on the kitchen floor at 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday exactly six months ago. Youβre wearing that gray fleece robe where the zipper is permanently stuck halfway down. Youβre drinking Folgers...
The Sweet Potato Meltdown and the Truth About Gerber Baby Food
It's 7:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a bright orange stain on my kitchen ceiling. I don't know the exact trajectory required for a seated eleven-month-old to launch root vegetables vertically, but the physics of it are...
Debugging Infant Water Safety and the Sea Otter Parenting Method
I'm currently losing a wrestling match with a wet, angry noodle on a bench that smells aggressively of bleach. My eleven-month-old son has somehow managed to triple his body weight purely through the physics of being slippery, and the acoustic...
The truth about newborn diapering and blowout prevention
My lowest parenting moment wasn't the endless crying. It was 3:14 in the morning on day four, standing over a changing table, trying to catch a stream of newborn urine with my bare hand while actively realizing I had fastened...
Why I Tossed My Plastic Toys For A Wooden Spielbogen Baby Gym
It was 2:00 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on my living room rug nursing a lukewarm coffee while a giant plastic jungle gym flashed neon green lights directly into my six-week-old's eyeballs. The thing was blaring some...