Searching Reddit for a Baby Walking Game at 2 AM Was a Mistake
Itβs 2:14 AM. I'm wearing my husbandβs horrific faded college track sweatpantsβthe ones with the inexplicable bleach stain on the left kneeβand I'm hunched over my phone in the dark, furiously refreshing a forum thread. I'm holding a mug of...
Why My Wife Wanted the 1980s Baby Shalini Haircut at Midnight
At 1:14 AM on a Tuesday, my wife shoved a glowing iPhone into my face displaying a grainy 1980s photo of a child with a perfectly symmetrical, brutally blunt bowl-cut bob. I was barely conscious, trying to reboot my brain...
The Truth About Baby Saja Wallpaper, Screen Time, and Nursery Air
I was sitting on the floor of my three-year-oldβs room yesterday, scraping a fossilized piece of oatmeal off the back of my phone case with my thumbnail, while bouncing my fussy youngest on my hip. I was exhausted, my brain...
Streaming Shows For Babies And The Real Science Of Screen Time
My mother-in-law insisted that any moving image on a television would permanently short-circuit my infant's brain. My neighbor down the hall swore that putting on animated dancing fruit was the only way she managed to wash her hair without someone...
The Messy Truth About Singing Your Baby to Sleep Every Night
I'm currently sitting on my back porch in the middle of nowhere Texas, trying to untangle a massive spool of macrame cord for an Etsy order while my youngest is strapped to my chest, completely passed out. But getting him...
The Truth About Baby Ladybugs (And When Your Kid Eats One)
I was sitting on our patchy backyard lawn in my stained grey sweatpants, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three times since 6 AM, when Maya ate her first bug. She was about eight months old, right...
I'm a Baby Kitty Where's Mama: Surviving The Feline Phase
My hands were aggressively deep in a bowl of raw ground beef and breadcrumbs when I felt something wet drag across my bare ankle. I didn't even jump. When you've three kids under five, you just accept that random wet...
Oh Baby I Love Your Way: How Infants Actually Show Affection
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and the apartment was absolutely freezing. I was standing in the middle of our tiny hallway wearing my husband Daveβs hideous neon orange high school track shirtβthe one that smells permanently...
The Ugly Truth About Those Viral Baby Hazel Games
It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday and I was wearing my husband Daveβs oversized college hoodie that smelled faintly of old garlic, holding a lukewarm mug of French roast that I had already microwaved three separate times. I was...