How to Build Your Amazon Registry Baby List Without Losing It
I was thirty-two weeks pregnant with my oldest, Beau, sitting on the faux-wood laminate floor of our tiny rental house, sobbing hysterically because the internet told me I needed a three-hundred-dollar wipe warmer. The nearest big-box store was a forty-five-minute...
Sorting Through the Utter Chaos of Buying Preemie Baby Clothes
I was standing at the hospital sink scrubbing my hands for the fiftieth time that Tuesday, staring at a crumpled plastic bag of tiny garments. My mom had just called to cheerfully suggest I just buy standard newborn sizes because,...
Dear Past Jess: The Brutal Truth About That Graco Baby Swing
It's 2:14 AM. You're sitting on the edge of the guest bed in your milk-stained maternity sweatpants, desperately scrolling the internet with your phone brightness turned all the way down so you don't wake the toddler in the next room....
Viral Internet Baby Soap Operas & Real Evacuation Plans
I was elbow-deep in raw chicken making freezer meals last Tuesday, with half-finished Etsy orders covering my dining table, when my four-year-old hollered from the living room that the "baby boss movie" was doing something weird. I wiped my hands...
I Survived the Buybuy Baby Relaunch (And My Wife's Registry List)
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda Civic last Tuesday, blinking stupidly at a massive blue and white sign in a New Jersey strip mall, completely convinced I had slipped into an alternate timeline. My wife, Sarah,...
Why I Use Baby Quip Instead of Hauling Cheap Travel Gear Everywhere
I was standing at Terminal D in DFW, sweating straight through my favorite t-shirt while my oldestβwho's basically a walking cautionary tale at this pointβtried to ride the luggage carousel like it was a carnival attraction. My husband was aggressively...
Debugging dinner: My panic-induced deep dive into organic baby food
It was Tuesday night, 6:14 PM, and my kitchen looked like a crime scene involving a very small, very angry sweet potato. My wife, Sarah, was trying to scrape orange sludge off the ceiling while I sat on the floor,...
The Truth Behind the Sugar Baby Movie Hype for Modern Parents
Dear Past Jess, It's two in the morning, and I'm currently sitting on the floor of our living room here in rural Texas, staring at a laundry basket that looks like it's actively reproducing. I'm peeling a mysterious, crusty substance...
How to Actually Do a Target Baby Registry Search Without Tears
When I was about seven months pregnant with Maya, three different people gave me three completely contradictory pieces of advice about how getting people to buy us newborn gear actually worked. My mother-in-law insisted that guests just walk up to...