Magazine

A six month old baby doing the wobbly tripod sit on a playmat while holding a teether

The Messy Truth About When Your Baby Finally Learns to Sit Up

I was sitting on the cold linoleum floor of a slightly damp church basement wearing yoga pants that hadn’t seen a yoga studio since Obama was in office, staring at a six-month-old named... Brayden? Jayden? Let's go with Jayden. Jayden...

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A tired mom holding a teething baby while a puppy chews on a toy

When Do Puppies Lose Their Baby Teeth? An Exhausted Mom's Guide

Yesterday at the feed store, old man Miller told me to just give our new mutt pup an old leather work boot to chew on and call it a day. Then I check my phone and my sister texts me...

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A tired dad looking at a laptop while holding a baby

What An Overdue Celebrity Baby Taught My Debugging Brain

The time was 3:14 AM, and the only sound in our Portland apartment was the rhythmic, aggressive squeak of a purple yoga ball against the hardwood floor. My wife was violently bouncing on it, trying to physically dislodge our stubbornly...

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A dad holding his hiccuping baby upright after a bottle feed

Why Babies Hiccup Constantly (And How to Actually Troubleshoot)

I was holding a plastic spoon with exactly one drop of literal hot sauce on it while my wife Sarah stared at me from the rocking chair like I had lost my mind. My mother-in-law had just texted me a...

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Mother looking exhausted while holding a crying baby in a dimly lit nursery

How to Survive the Witching Hour Baby Meltdowns Without Losing It

My mother-in-law swore my son's evening screaming fits meant my breastmilk was literally too thin. The lactation consultant I paid two hundred dollars to see said he was cluster feeding and I just needed a better nursing pillow. A girl...

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Toddler looking confused at a tablet playing pop music videos

Why "Yes Baby Madison Beer" Is Not A Sleep Training Guide

The biggest lie we tell ourselves as modern parents is that the internet’s search bar is a safe space so long as it contains the word "baby." I learned this the hard way last Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the edge...

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Upset toddler dropping a pacifier next to a smartphone showing a music app

Why That Cry Baby Album By Melanie Martinez Is Not For Kids

I run a small Etsy shop making custom embroidered baby items, and about two weeks ago, I got the weirdest message. A customer wanted me to stitch the words "Sippy Cup" and "Cry Baby" in dripping black gothic letters across...

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A baby playing with a wooden play gym on a living room rug while a tired dad holds a cup of coffee.

Lil Baby Harvard: Raising a tiny genius without losing your mind

Within forty-eight hours of bringing the twins home, I received three distinct pieces of unsolicited advice regarding their future intellectual dominance. My mother-in-law arrived with a set of high-contrast Mandarin flashcards (I speak passable French; my wife speaks sarcasm). Our...

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Tired dad looking at a baby photo album surrounded by baby toys

The hilariously chaotic quest to find a safe lil baby album

I was sitting in the dark at half past midnight on a Tuesday, entirely covered in what I deeply hoped was just pureed parsnip from dinner, trying to complete a simple parental task. The twins, Florence and Matilda, had finally...

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