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What I got wrong about the great baby bassinet debate
I was staring at the ceiling fan at three in the morning, calculating how many consecutive minutes of sleep I had logged since Tuesday. It was twenty-eight. Next to me, my daughter was grunting like a tiny, angry pug in...
Why Everyone Is Searching for That Baby Assassins Movie (And Other ...
It was exactly 2:14 PM last Tuesday. I know this because I was staring at the microwave clock, wearing my husband Mark's grey college sweatpantsβthe ones with the inexplicable bleach stain near the kneeβand waiting for my third cup of...
The Brutal Truth About Baby Allergy Medicine and Sniffles
I was standing under the humming fluorescent lights of a Walgreens at three in the morning with a rashy, congested toddler on my hip when I realized the biggest myth we all swallow about the pharmacy aisle. You know the...
Navigating Baby Girl Showtimes: A Dad's Movie Survival Guide
My mother-in-law told me taking an infant to a movie theater would permanently short-circuit her developing brain. The guy who makes my oat milk cortado at the local coffee shop insisted that baby-friendly matinees are the only way new parents...
January Newborn Survival: Forget the Baby Garnet Birthstone Myths
It's three in the morning and you're holding a screaming two-week-old in a freezing, dark room. You type something stupid into your phone because you're desperately trying to figure out if your January newborn's stubbornness is astrological. You search for...
My Messy, Caffeinated Guide to Decoding Infant Nutrition
It was November 2017 and I was wearing my husband Markβs oversized college sweatpantsβthe ones with the bleach stain on the left thigh that he refuses to throw awayβsitting completely paralyzed on our cold kitchen linoleum at 3:15 AM while...
The Messy, Exhausting Truth About What It Takes To Adopt A Baby
I was sitting on the cold hexagonal bathroom tiles at 2:14 AM. The laptop was actually burning my thighs through Dave's gray Villanova sweatpantsβthe ones with the weird bleach stain on the knee from 2018. I had consumed three cups...
The Messy Truth About Acid Reflux In Babies: A Survival Guide
Dear Sarah of seven years ago, You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor in your husbandβs gray college hoodie. It's 3:14 AM. You smell like sour yogurt, desperation, and whatever that weird metallic scent is that babies get when theyβre...
Why I threw our smart baby heart monitor in the trash
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against our Portland windows, when the klaxon sounded. It wasn't a gentle beep. It was the specific, terrifying frequency of a submarine dive alarm broadcasting directly from my nightstand. My wife...