The Truth About Baby Dresses No One Tells New Parents
My oldest daughter was exactly three months old, and I was sweating straight through my deodorant trying to shove her chunky little arms into a stiff, sequined tulle monstrosity for Easter Sunday while she screamed like I was actively torturing...
The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Choosing a Great Baby Doctor
I'm currently typing this one-handed on my phone in a clinic waiting room that smells aggressively like rubbing alcohol and cheap cherry lollipops, while my youngest tries to aggressively gnaw my collarbone off. The lady across from me is staring...
Why I Stopped Trusting the Chinese Conception Chart for 2025
Sitting at my sticky kitchen island with my mom back in 2019, I was twenty weeks pregnant, sweating through my favorite maternity shirt, and squinting at a printed grid she brought over from her Tuesday church group. She had two...
Reading Detransition Baby Changed How I Look at Modern Motherhood
I'm literally sitting on my hideous green velvet sofa at 5:43 AM, aggressively scrubbing a splotch of hardened spit-up off the crinkly plastic dust jacket of a library book. I'm wearing my husband Mark’s oversized college sweatpants—the ones with a...
Did Simone Biles Have A Baby? Fake News & Intrusive Questions
My phone screen was the only source of light in the nursery, casting an eerie blue glow over Twin A's aggressively snotty face at fourteen minutes past three in the morning. I was trapped in that specific, hallucinatory layer of...
Why Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby? (The Clingy Phase)
I was standing at the kitchen island yesterday, attempting to eat a cold piece of toast while packing up a stack of orders for my Etsy shop, when my grandmother dropped the classic line she always reserves for moments of...
Why I Finally Stopped Stressing About Enfamil Baby Formula
The absolute biggest myth in modern parenting is that if you aren't illegally importing some $40-a-can organic goat's milk concoction translated from German on a sketchy third-party website, you're basically poisoning your child. I know this because seven years ago,...
Why the Baby Dijon Trend is the Most Honest Look at Parenthood Yet
I was sitting on my bathroom floor at 2 AM last Tuesday with my third kid, staring blankly at the grout lines while my phone sat in the sink to amplify the sound. I was listening to the new Dijon...
I Cried In A Baby Clothing Store, Then A Blowout Ruined My Haul
It was 3:14 in the morning, and the mustard-yellow explosion had breached the diaper, traveled up my firstborn’s back, and was making a steady, terrifying march toward his neckline. I was operating on maybe forty minutes of broken sleep, standing...