What Nobody Tells You About Personalized Baby Gifts
I was sitting on a donut pillow in my cramped Chicago apartment, bleeding through postpartum mesh underwear, while my mother-in-law unboxed a neon pink fleece blanket the size of a parachute. It had my daughter's name embroidered across it in...
Why I Dropped Three Hundred Bucks on a Newton Baby Mattress
When I was pregnant with my second kid, I stood in the middle of the Target baby aisle having a full-blown existential crisis while three different people texted me completely contradictory advice about where my child should sleep. My mom,...
Why I Finally Gave In and Bought a Baby Bottle Washer
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and my knuckles were literally bleeding. I was standing in my dark kitchen wearing a gray nursing tank that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration,...
The ugly truth about capturing your perfect baby photos
I was sitting on my living room floor with a hair dryer aimed at a wicker basket, sweating through my postpartum leggings. My son was three weeks old. I had spent two hours trying to arrange him into a pose...
The brutal truth about your Baby Brezza formula settings
It's 3 AM in a cramped kitchen in Lincoln Park. The blue light of the machine casts a weird shadow over the massive bags under my eyes while I wait for four ounces of liquid sanity to dispense. I remember...
The yellow baby panic and other postpartum surprises
Three in the morning. The cheap humidifier is humming in the corner, throwing a weird blue light across the bassinet. I'm staring at my newborn son's face, trying to figure out if the bulb is casting strange shadows or if...
How to Survive Your Baby Announcement With Your Dignity Intact
I'm standing in our damp London garden, holding two helium balloons shaped like the numbers one and two, while my wife tries to gently coax our neurotic rescue greyhound into wearing a chalkboard sign around his neck. The sign says...
Debugging the Ultimate Spreadsheet of Baby Names for Girls - Dad Log
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently sitting at your desk at 2 AM. Your daughter is five months old, sleeping for a miraculous forty-two-minute stretch, and your brain is finally quiet. Then your buddy Dave texts you. He...
Reclaiming The Title Of Baby Mama And Surviving Year One
My wife is asleep next to me, emitting a low, rhythmic wheeze that means sheβs currently in deep REM, and I'm sitting in the dark, furiously scrolling through a Wikipedia rabbit hole about billionaires. I literally caught myself googling how...